I met this japanese woman last year while I was abroad studying english. I am 23 years old (italian) and she is in her early 30s.
We had the same goal and clicked, we went out many times, talked about each other issues and even went on a trip to Italy together for a week in Italy.
We promised to keep in touch but she is busy working for a pharmaceutical company and she told me she is free only the weekend.
She said we are still friends even if we do no talk and she told me we were close and stuff, she found the person who hoste us in Italy for a few days etc
Now i planned a trip to Asia and i am going to visit different countries, so i thought why not visit ?
I am already close to Japan and i thought it would be cool (in the future i definitely would love to stay longer and see more.
I messaged her and she seemed very happy, she says she is glad to meet me and wanna meet etc but she is busy working a lot in December for her company so she is goingto be free in the weekend mostly.
She said she wants to stay with me and basically she implies she could host me, yesterday i told her more or less the date i plan to arrive and i told her she does not have to host me all the time, the weekend could work and i could find an accomodation for the extra days (i wanna stay for 5 days).
Now she has left me on read twice. Am i overthinking it or did i seem too eager?
4 comments
I don’t believe this is the appropriate sub for this question; this seems much more like a personal question than something related to broader Japanese culture.
When are you going? I can potentially host you in shibuya
Japanese people don’t say no. They find it rude. So they say “that would be difficult” or “I have a lot going on”. I think she is trying to tell you no. She probably wonders why you don’t understand her objections.
First of all, to avoid any doubt, Japanese people do tend to be 110% into work during weekdays. So what she is saying sounds genuine enough.
Secondly, Japanese people tend to send messages only after they have done what is necessary, e.g. to check on how best to accommodate your schedule. Generally, Japanese people also send longer text messages, but take longer to do so. Not all of them like to send holding replies.
Thirdly, this lady may be having second thoughts, but if so I think it is likely because of the way you have told her about your schedule. If you make clear to her that you have *already* found your own accomodation for the entire duration of your trip, I think her attitude will change. Alternatively, she could genuinely be having a very busy week (see point 1 above), and wants to take her time to send you a proper reply (see point 2 above).
Fingers crossed for you bro!