It’s just a vent. Sorry if it’s not allowed to post something like this here. I needed some space to vent and see if there is anyone who can relate to this and I am not the only one…
I was born and raised in Japan, but I’m ethnically only 1/16 of Japanese. The rest of my ethnic backgrounds come from Latin America.
Since I was little I’ve encountered lookism and racism for countless times which is completely unfair to me because people discriminate me mostly for what I can’t change about myself: skin color, facial and body structures, etc.
I was struggling not to get any bad attention because of my looks. I lost my weight, improved my skin condition, learned how to wear makeup and clothes like how most Japanese women do. But some people still stare at me and sometimes make fun of how different I look anyway.
The beauty standards here are weird and ridiculously strict, and if you don’t fit it people will think it’s okay to mock your looks.
Well, for example:
– The ideal BMI is considered to be fat here. Being curvy as well most of the time.
– When someone (especially a woman) has dark skin color, they will be automatically considered to be unattractive.
– Just not having double eyelids is also often considered to be unattractive.
– If you are a woman and don’t wear decent makeup and clothes literally all the time, some people would say that you’re not qualified as a woman (女として終わってる)
– It’s even required for women to wear makeup at many workplaces.
– You have to attach your photo on your resume, and some job interviewers would make an unpleasant comment on your looks.
– Your face has to look young and “small”, like a kid or baby. Otherwise you would be considered to be unattractive. The younger you look, the more people think that you’re pretty.
Don’t you think it’s ridiculous? At first I thought that it is all my fault being ugly and getting physically and emotionally hurt, but after finding out that even “Japanese” people also suffer from low self-esteem, I’ve come to think that it’s this toxic standards fault .
Well, lookism exists everywhere for every gender, but it goes too far here. And it kind of makes me want to get out of here.
With that being said, I’m actually not able to move to another country due to my personal issues. And I won’t be for a long time. Well, I’ve become an adult and I haven’t gotten into any bigger trouble related to lookism and racism, like getting physically abused or something since I graduated from school. So I think I should be relieved at least? I still mentally suffer from the trauma and can’t help overthinking and getting anxious about how I am seen by people here though.
I just hope some day they will accept various beautiful standards out there, and find out that everyone has a right to look in the way they want.
7 comments
Beauty standards are bs and Japan’s are particularly bad. Try not to let it get to you. There are loads of Instagram models who are gorgeous and would absolutely not fit Japan’s beauty standards.
This is probably irrelevant but from what I’ve noticed, the societal beauty standards (work, school, public and television) are not a reflection of individual standards. I’m not saying their standards are realistic or ok but the culture here is completely based on standardization and uniform. Especially in the larger cities. As the old Japanese proverb “a nail which sticks out will be hammered.” is pretty much the embodiment of the health and beauty standards. Things are slowly getting better though ever so slowly. Keep your chin up, I’m sure most people here are quite jealous of you having an actual figure unlike them 🙂
Learn the power of ignoring the surroundings, and understand the fact that most people in the world are idiots, you will live a happier life.
Japanese beauty standards are ridiculous. Standards for anything weight wise. I gained 8 kg around 26 weeks pregnant and was chastised for gaining too much weight and told to stay at 10kg, when the USA (my home country) recommends 10kg – 18kg for average body types to gain during pregnancy.
I went swimming with a friend and in the changing room we saw a person who looked like a 12 year old girl (super lanky, and skinny, like bones jutting out) and she weighed herself. Later we got talking and it turned out she is a 24 year old woman. My friend and I both agreed we were left a bit unnerved that she had weighed herself (granted she could have just been curious but any look in the mirror would confirm she was very skinny).
My husband tells me all the time that girls refuse to finish their school lunch or return large portions because they don’t want to eat so much (despite many of them having club activities and it being the only meal they can get energy from 8:30 am to 5 pm)
It’s toxic, it’s horrible, and definitely something that shouldn’t be emulated by other girls/women.
Japan has crazy standards.
The photo on the resume thing is done in a lot of other countries too, like Korea, and the majority of Europe (Germany, France, Switzerland…)
If you don’t want to put on make up just wear a mask all the time.
Even in the US make up is pretty much practically required. As in, while you don’t need to wear it, if you don’t wear it and show up to work, all your coworkers will ask you if you are sick today, keep telling you that you look different.
Maybe just move out of Japan when you can? It’s not for a lot of people (which is totally okay).
I have to comment this.
I recently saw a girl who is fuckn gorgeous, in other countries she would definitely be a 8 out of 10 but she has a problem, she has long foot, like she is 1.50 cm and her foot is like 7 in number.
Not a big deal but people did noticed and often she felt bad for this. I mean she is god damn gorgeous why you can’t have the feet that way, as you say is very toxic.
Not only are woman in Japan under unbelievable pressure to look a certain way, but they’re ranked low in the global gender gap report, 120th out of 156 countries, dare I say they’re second class citizens? Having said that, you should see how Korean woman have to go through life. Seoul is Asia’s plastic surgery capital and Korea makes Japanese standards look loose in comparison.