Here is some context, I’m studying on my year abroad in japan for my degree programme. My friend met this guy (current boyfriend) in a nightclub called Utage and they started hanging out. I met him in October during a lantern festival which said friend invited him to. We then started hanging out together once a week. My friend then suddenly confessed to me, but I told him I liked the Japanese guy I started hanging out with. After I confessed to the Japanese guy and we started dating my friend did a 180 in personality and started telling me not to trust my boyfriend and that he is a gaijin hunter because he met him in a club where foreigners drink for relatively cheap (it is the number 1 nightclub in my city BTW, and my boyfriend likes music, where else do young people go to hang out?). Anyways my boyfriends English is not perfect, but then neither is my japanese. I am starting to suspect he’s only dating me for an experience, and will break up with me at the end of my exchange. There are nicer guys around who I met through school but then he’s told me he loves me and it’s all become very complicated….
10 comments
If you’re happy in your relationship, what does it matter? If you’re not happy, then why are you still with him?
I hate to be a dick about this but this isn’t an episode of Degrassi and we’re not here to talk about your relationship woes. With that said, I’ll bite.
>My friend then suddenly confessed to me, but I told him I liked the Japanese guy I started hanging out with. After I confessed to the Japanese guy and we started dating my friend did a 180 in personality and started telling me not to trust my boyfriend and that he is a gaijin hunter
So the guy who wants to bone you is trying to undermine your relationship? Hmmm…. HMMMMMM…..
>I am starting to suspect he’s only dating me for an experience, and will break up with me at the end of my exchange. There are nicer guys around who I met through school …
So when you find better relationship prospects suddenly you start to suspect your boyfriend is using you? Hmmm…. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM….
I’m sorry but I’m way too old for this shit. I imagine you’re young so literally none of your relationship choices will matter at all in a couple of years and you should do whatever you want.
>I am starting to suspect he’s only dating me for an experience, and will break up with me at the end of my exchange
Possible if you live a thousand miles away. Your friend might need to get laid hook him up with one of your friends. Then he’ll stop being an annoyance.
Don’t mind me, I’m just here for the drama.
Mmm popcorn
No one here knows the people involved personally and will be able to give you any kind of definite answer.
That being said there seems to be some projection going on here and you might benefit from looking inward to your own feelings.
You are worried he might be “using you for the experience” but you are also willinging engaging in a relationship with a local you cant fully communicate with during a period you know will be limited. Conciously or unconsciously you are equally guilty of “using him for the experience”
If you are only here for a year abroad, there will always be the question of if you guys will stay together after you go home. Even if it doesnt work out, it doesnt mean he is a “gaijin hunter”. Long distance is hard to make work even in the best of situations.
I have been in a relationship with a gaijin hunter before. It unlimited didn’t work out, but for the time we were together it didn’t really matter. If you are happy with the relationship, what does it matter?
Yes
Okay you’re young, just date the guy if you’re having fun and try not to worry so much! Or move on and play the field a bit more if it’s bothering you, up to you.
You’re probably not going to marry the first dude you meet on exchange anyway hahaha
You don’t need to make weird excuses to fuck other people. Just break up with the boyfriend and have fun.