Hi All,
In a tricky situation and hoping you all may have some advice.
Daughter is first grade ES and regularly complains to us about her homeroom teacher, she has been made to eat lunch alone, shouted at and ignored or called a liar many times by this teacher. She can be forgetful and distracted but she’s on the whole obedient and hard working.
She came home crying today and I think it’s about time we had a word with the teacher.
How would we go about this? My idea is request a face to face, if that doesn’t work take it one step up the food chain and repeat.
Does this seem logical? Have any of you been in this situation?
20 comments
Talk to the school board and try to get your kid placed in a different homeroom in April.
I had a co-worker who had similar issues with a HR teacher and this is how they handled it.
Unfortunately, abusive teachers are a problem in Japan. You should ask for a meeting with the school principal.
Call for a meeting with the hrt, head teacher for the grade, vp and principal. Bring to the issues and tell them she will have a new hrt in April or you will go to the BoE next. Don’t let them give you crap how it may not be possible. It is very possible. I had to deal with something similar this year.
Yeah, like others have said, skip the HR teacher face to face, go above their heads. I’d start talking with the kid basically daily about it and keeping notes in a ledger.
Getting her into a different HR with a different teacher for April is probably the best thing for her.
Maybe I’m crazy but not even getting in touch with the teacher seems insane.
Your daughter appears to be given discipline…and she’s upset because no child wants to be disciplined. Do you think you should at least inquire with her teacher (or vp/principal) to get an adult’s view on the situation?
Going straight to the BOE seems like skipping a few steps.
Currently working a couple elementary schools in Japa. My advice would be if you have any concerns, at all. Talk to the Vice Principle or Principle and take it from there.
From what Ive seen if there is something wrong with the teacher then they will be on your side to rectify the situation.
You need to hear the teacher’s perspective before you make any decisions. You don’t want to be one of these parents who thinks their kid can do no wrong and end up raising a hellion.
What was the teacher like at your last parent teacher meeting?
This will probably help you decide how to move forward. Were they receptive to questions? Did anything seem off? If your spidey senses were tingling back then and you felt brushed off I might have a word with the year level coordinator or principal.
Get on it now. Don’t wait for her to be stuck with the same teacher again after April.
Go to the vice principle on the side. Ask wth is going on, and if the punishment is necessary. Ot is pretty extreme to segregate a child at 6 years old. Mention that you don’t like your child being bullied by teachers. Its a buzz word that will get some attention.
Make comprehensive notes, dates, times, details of the incident.
So, I’ve worked in Japan and the UK in schools. And I can see both sides in this situation.
If your child has been disruptive, tried to lie to get out of trouble and been messing around at lunch time all those things sound like normal school discipline (although I would not say “you’re a liar” but rather “I’m not sure if I believe you because of xyz”)
Literally every time there’s an issue I will have two kids telling me opposite stories and you have to make a judgement otherwise there are no consequences for poor behavior choices if children lie to get out of trouble.
What concerns me is that you don’t know why these things happened – what did your child supposedly do to be called out for lying or have to sit by herself?
It’s normal for kids to be made to sit by themselves for various reasons – they were copying others work, they kept talking after being warned to be quiet etc.
The only time it’s not ok is when they are being excluded long-term. I’ve heard of a SEN child being put on a desk to face out of a window for a whole school year. That seems abusive to me. But one lunch time is not.
So I’d say going to the school first would make sense – maybe to talk with the home room teacher. If your impression of them from previous meetings isn’t good, then talk to the principal or vice-principal.
If you’re not satisfied with their response then you could escalate it.
“She has been made to eat lunch alone”
Not only is that a horrible way to treat a child of the age of first grade ES. I believe it would also be a violation of the ‘School Lunch Law’ https://elaws.e-gov.go.jp/document?lawid=329AC0000000160
If you see Article 2 (3): 学校生活を豊かにし、明るい社交性及び協同の精神を養うこと。
Essentially, students eating school lunch together as a class/school (I.e socially) is pretty much part of the compulsory education curriculum.
So to give you some ammo, make sure to highlight that to the school, that the HRT is essentially breaking that law.
I am an ALT. I have seen SEVERAL demonic home room teachears in 1st grade…
Thank you all for the responses.
I gave the teacher a call
She basically said she’d talk to my kid directly the next day and was regretful they were upset. To take away from the not very genuine apology she then said kid had said some naughty Japanese words she’d learned from crayon shinchan, not at the time in question, just in the past.
Not the best outcome but I guess she knows we’re paying attention. As others mentioned I will take it up the line if anything happens again.
tbh she seems crazy overworked and out of shits to give, just snapping at people, apparently threw a board eraser at the class bully/child with undiagnosed behavioural issues.
As someone who has had to deal with an abusive teacher as a child, please stick up for your child. This sort of ‘othering’ and emotional abuse can have a devastating effect on a child’s confidence and also encourage others to bully her because they see her as fair game due to teacher openly bullying her. If that were my child I would have had words at the first mentioning of this kind of situation.
I hear teachers on the phone with parents for things relating to classroom stuff quite frequently. I’ve also seen teachers taking a talking to from a parent for likely no fault of their own.
While I don’t know your daughter, sometimes there is some fault to be shared even if she is only 6 years old. Kids can be a bit deceptive at times without having awful intentions. She probably wants to belong but this is something that you could work with the teacher on. If you haven’t contacted the teacher I’d probably do so.
I dunno how eating alone would improve is supposed to improver her behavior though.
Don’t forget there are two sides to every story. Having said that, this teacher should be coming to you if there was a problem, instead of doing what she’s doing to your daughter.
I’d definitely try and have a talk with the HRT, but don’t blow it out of proportion before hearing what they have to say. You’re only hearing the story from your 6/7 year old kid. As you know, kids tend to exaggerate. Was she really made to eat lunch alone? If so, what was the reason behind it?
Also, make sure you understand that your kid may be a completely different person at school and there may be some things you need to do to help her adjust and concentrate better.
I’m sorry… FIRST GRADE ES??? And the hrt is treating her that way? Yeah no, fuck that. They are just little babies. What a psycho
If your information is solely from your child, its not necessarily a reliable source.
All you can really do is speak to the school and teacher, also don’t simply assume that your child’s story is correct, ask the teacher their version.
Sure they could lie, they could cover it up, but so could your child. First grade ES? They are what 6?