I know, I know. You’re probably thinking, “Why bother learning a language if you don’t have a passion for it?” Well, my friends, I have no patience for that kind of talk. I want results, and I want them now!
So, I implore you all, give me the shortcuts, the hacks, the magic pills! Anything to help me learn Japanese without having to put in the time and effort. I’m willing to cheat, to take shortcuts, to find the easiest way possible.
Do any of you have any methods that can help me achieve my goal quickly and easily? I’ve heard of some pretty interesting methods that I’ve listed below.
1 Learning while sleeping
2 Hypnosis
3 Brainwave entrainment
4 Accelerated learning
5 Mnemonics
6 Memory Palace
7 Fluent forever method
8 Learning through music
9 Learning through visual aids
10 Learning through subliminal messages
If any of you have tried these methods or have any other methods that you think would work, please share! I’m open to anything that can help me learn Japanese quickly and easily. I’m not interested in spending a lot of time or effort on it, so any help would be appreciated.
12 comments
> I’m not interested in spending a lot of time or effort on it.
Japanese isn’t quick and easy. If you’re not going to put a lot of effort in studying you won’t get far.
Go live in Japan for 10 years I made me learn it
lmao nice satire post. yeah I’m tired of seeing these posts too.
Watch a couple arcs of Naruto and you should be good to go, my dude. Just make sure you have the subs on so your brain learns to automatically translate the words.
My good friend, have you any experience in putting so little effort to study, yet achieve objectively significant results?
If you ever, ever managed to learn *anything* without the patience to grind or willingness to punch through obstacles and got immediate results, just do that. You have a special brain that don’t work like normal people. Otherwise, you need to grind at some point to make things stick.
This has to be a satire post.
There is only easy, no quick. And, well, “easy” can mean two different things, only one of them applies.
Japanese is easy: you don’t have to be smart at all, just put in the time it requires.
Japanese is *not* easy: you will suck at first, and will continue sucking for a very long time. Once you stop sucking at something, as soon as you try anything else, you will return to suckage once again.
8 of those methods are completely useless nonsense.
Mnemonics are occasionally useful, but they’re really, *really* slow.
From what I can read about [*Fluent Forever*](https://www.amazon.com/Fluent-Forever-Learn-Language-Forget-ebook/dp/B00IBZ405W) it’s an input-first method like AJATT, and yes those do work work.
They’re not fast.
Ok so there is a weird trick that makes Japanese pretty easy. It’s also possible this can make you not millions but BILLIONS of dollars if you do it right.
You have to basically get reborn as a Japanese baby in the next life. You’ll know FLUENT Japanese. Imagine watching Doraemon in your OWN LANGUAGE!
I know what you are thinking. Be good go to heaven, be bad go to hell, all I have to do is buy condolences from the church and I’m “good”, and that’s it.
Well nope. That might work in the west, but in the east they are on a “Karma” system. Basically you have to act in a certain “way” and if you act that way you get reborn as something good.
So step 1 is: Be really good, in accordance to the teachings of Buddha.
Step 2 is: Die in the far east
That’s basically it. If you think it’s almost your time, go there and die. You’ll be entered in the the karma system and reborn as a human if you were really good.
However if you weren’t good, and aren’t a good Buddhist, you’re gonna be a worm.
Are you worried about that?
Well worry no more.
I have a new karma-at-home system I’ve been working on. YOU can be reborn as a Japanese baby if you subscribe to any of these packages!
Payment Pack 1. 1 million dollars. You’ll be reborn as a Japanese baby, no strings attached. You’ll know fluent Japanese in no time.
Payment Pack 2. 10 million dollars. This is harder but you’ll be reborn as a baby who grows up into a rockstar!!! It costs more because not everyone can be a rockstar.
Payment Pack 3. 30 million dollars. Ok, you will be born as a baby who grows up into a billionaire. Think how much you are SAVING if you purchase this package.
No refunds. Cash only.
try /r/languagelearningjerk
Lol.
Hahaha nice bait. Lots of whoosh in the comment section though so it works every time
You left out learning through humiliation and torture. Oh wait, sorry…that’s just the normal way of learning Japanese.