Best place to spread ashes?

This is kind of a morbid post and I want to preface this with a trigger warning for suicide.

My best friend recently killed herself. We were supposed to go to Japan together this year for a month. Her family and I think it would be a wonderful idea to spread some of her ashes in Japan, a place she truly loved. I was wondering if anyone had any advice on where would be a good place? Our itenrary was to start in Beppu and then work our way up to Tokyo, so anywhere between there would be good. I was thinking maybe Kyoto, so she could always have a beautiful view.

9 comments
  1. My deepest condolences to you and everyone whose lives were touched by your best friend.

    I think your two biggest criteria will be “where would be the most meaningful to her” and “where is it acceptable to do this.” Is there anywhere within Japan that she specifically wanted to visit? Is there any type of season or activity that she really liked? I think asking yourself those questions will help you narrow it down.

    Personally, I would avoid doing it anywhere near a Shinto shrine. Here are some other considerations:

    https://www.reddit.com/r/japan/comments/3vig8j/what_should_i_know_about_scattering_ashes_in_japan/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

    https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2004/01/12/national/scattering-ashes-in-nature-gaining-social-acceptance/

    https://scattering-ashes.co.uk/different-cultures/japanese-fake-ash-scattering-tourism/

  2. Sorry for your loss. I’ve been thinking on whether or not I should respond. Culturally, I’m not sure how acceptable the practice of spreading ashes would be. On the other hand, it’s probably possible to do such a thing while still being respectful if it’s a small amount.

    Somewhere off in nature would likely be the best place to do such a thing. A couple places from my travels come to mind. I hiked Mt. Takao and it was beautiful, one of the lesser used/rougher trails might be an nice place, there’s even a ring trail around the summit you may find a spot. Enoshima island is also beautiful, it’s still one of my favorite places I’ve been to, it’s more populated but maybe spreading them in the ocean from the shore might work. Nikko is also a beautiful place, but my visits there were mostly in town or at the shrine. There’s probably some hiking trails you could find, but I don’t know of any.

    I’d suggest avoiding any gardens, shrines, parks, property of sorts and try to find some peaceful place in nature. It feels like the right balance between fulfilling a wish for your friend whole being respectful at the same time.

  3. I’ve been there 3 times, there are so many spots that seem perfect – have you considered multiple locations? For example combination of scenic parks and famous entertainment areas?

    Dotonbori in Osaka

    Triple Pagoda at Nachi Falls

    Omoide Yokocho (Memory Lane) in Tokyo

    … sorry for your loss.

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