I’m an adult with ASD who has been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and am currently waiting on my second therapist appointment, so as of right now I am not on any medications nor do I have any coping techniques yet, nor have I really ever had good study habits or practices in any way.
Trying to learn, but I feel overwhelmed and frustrated with myself when I don’t understand something or I get something wrong. I’ve been using renshuu for give or take two months and I’ve finished Hiragana and Katakana, and accidentally skipped basic Japanese and recently finished elementary Japanese due to me not understanding how their schedule system worked. (I do now).
I’ve been trying to learn Japanese as I’ve always wanted to live there or at least visit, and my brother has recently been stationed there giving me an actual reason to visit other than “I don’t have to drive and there’s little crime”.
Unfortunately, due to my ASD I’m finding that I get easily frustrated by how slow my progress is in conjunction with getting things wrong when I was doing well on the same thing a few days prior, like I’m just forgetting everything.
This came to a head three days ago when I foolishly tried to learn some basic Kanji, as some were coming up in my renshuu lessons, which was stressing me out as I hate Kanji with a passion. I used Wanikani as it seemed like a good place to start, but after being told to mill over one set of radicals for a few days to “really memorize it”, which further frustrated me as it felt like my progress was being hampered with no ability to move forward other than waiting. I finally got to actually read up on some Kanji after a few DAYS of studying like 10 radicals, and I realized I genuinely hated the interface.
The combination of the user interface being generally frustrating and sometimes misleading (subjective), having a very bright color pallete that was starting to strain my eyes with no dark mode option (as far as I know), and general frustration over a rough patch in renshuu as well, I had a full on meltdown. It’s been 3 days now and I can’t even think about the language in any way without feeling frustrated with myself for not even getting the basics right.
Sorry if this comes across as some beginner whinging, I’m just so frustrated right now.
Should I wait until my next therapy appointment before I try again so I can get some general coping techniques? Should I even try again at all if if continues to be a stressor and frustrating experience? Maybe I’m just in the wrong headspace right now and need a break? Do you guys have any advice?
6 comments
If you have a therapist, tell your therapist that you want to learn Japanese. Tell them how you feel, etc. They’ll be the most qualified to tell you what you can do!
Also, you’ll have plenty of time to learn Japanese later if you still want to, but staying healthy is the most important thing right now.
well think of your health first
if you study a lot, I find it tends to push any negative feelings a way because you are so engrossed, it actually might help
obviously don’t study so much you can’t handle it, but maybe a couple hours a day
If something doesn’t work for you, you don’t have to use it ever.
Everyone has their own pace. It can be faster or slower. Just run your own race.
I have ASD and finished Minna No Nihongo book 1 about 2 weeks ago and currently lying in bed in a Japanese Homestay to begin 2 weeks of classes at Kudan Institute.
I was only diagnosed with ASD a 48 (currently 50). I may not have the same symptoms but I used it as an opportunity to learn to let the river take me. Like you I always can see the destination and find it hard to not get there fast and get frustrated at the backwards steps and so on that happen in life.
What I have found helpful is to create a daily routine and to remember the small wins. The days you remember words, use grammar correctly focus on them, they show the progress the other days don’t worry about just stick to the schedule. Don’t tweak the schedule too often or you will just focus on optimising that rather than just doing the pattern of work.
For me I wake up most days, do exercise, breakfast and then do my Wanikani tests, then write up any notes from recent lessons or do homework or practice something from the text book depending on what I have. I have also bought a mini printer (2×3” thing) and made physical flash cards (print, peel, fold back on self and stick so double sided) with vocab I’m rubbish at and I carry them around and test myself. Japanese Kanji and hiragana on one side and English on the other.
Something I would suggest is don’t worry about Kanji initially. I started when I was about chapter 5-10 (I can’t remember) of Minna No Nihongo and to be honest it helps a little now as you can see how and why the words are made up.
Re the UX and colours of websites. I’m a UX designer by trade and the life is full of “this UI sucks” so my recommendation is to either chill and just trust in the Wankikani developers or if the colour palette is a no go maybe get a book? Minna No Nihongo has ancillary books for Kanji etc. I’d also recommend classes (I have taken them) with a Japanese native as that sets a weekly routine and someone who can tailor content to your needs.
Good luck and I find the biggest challenge with ASD is your brain can create, filter and sort possible outcomes fast and come to conclusions quick that the real world and life seems frustrating and slow. Hardest thing, but wise thing, is to stop trying to make the world or life move faster and just enjoy the journey 🙂
Will say WaniKani is a BRUTAL way to learn kanji, you will learn, but it is BRUTAL in that sometimes learning just the “vocab” use of the Kanji is a much easier place to begin. What’s helped me is really to come up with my own stories and mnemonics at first, then eventually forget them as I don’t need them.
Then the next brutal part of WaniKani is when you get into intransitive and transitive verbs and more eg. To mix, to be mixed, to intersect etc. it offers no real help or lessons as to why a verb ending in aru and eru are what they are. This would slay me thinking I’ll just keep hitting my head against this brick wall until IT moves. After watching [THIS VIDEO](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELk1dqaEmyk) a while back helped me a lot on the verbs problem, but a supplement like Cure Dolly that is relevant to thing I’m trying to learn RIGHT NOW, is very helpful.
Understand there are things beyond your control, but please know there are plenty of times that something that I thought was solid will slip my mind and I have to remind myself. No doubt anyone that does what your doing everyday, will get where they are going eventually.
>I’ve been trying to learn Japanese as I’ve always wanted to live there or at least visit […] which was stressing me out as I hate Kanji with a passion.
Maybe Japanese isn’t for you? Learning the language is going to be a long process full of frustration – potentially years of it. Are you sure you really want to learn it? You can easily visit (or even live in) Japan without knowing any Japanese.
Language learning isn’t for everyone. That’s not a failure, it’s just the way it is. Only you know your motives and whether you’ll be up for the challenge, but it doesn’t sound like you’re having a good time learning, so maybe find something else?
Anyway – if you’re keen to press ahead, here are some of my [recommendations](https://www.reddit.com/r/LearnJapanese/comments/s5mtva/comment/ht1lo0x/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).
Don’t worry too much when you forget things, that’s going to happen often. You’ll learn them again and it will be easier second time around. The important stuff keeps coming up again and again and eventually it all sticks.