How would you explain what 甘えん坊 means?

11 comments

1. This seems to be an English question, since you seem to understand what it actually means, but eh whatever. There’s a whole bunch of questions that should be taken down for not asking in the daily thread or not reading the sidebar at all, this one is a bit refreshing even lol

   [DMM英会話](https://eikaiwa.dmm.com/uknow/questions/10749/) suggests interesting options. [This one](https://eikaiwa.dmm.com/uknow/questions/44451/) too.
   Basically, if there isn’t a direct equivalent for it – it’s pretty common, once you start understanding the subtle nuances as most translations are just an approximation – try and describe it. In our present case, think of a person (or a pet or whatever) with such a quality. What comes to mind? That’s your answer, assuming you understood the Japanese definition that you got from a monolingual dictionary.

2. 甘える is to be affectionate so when someone is being an 甘えん坊, I’d describe it as being affectionate/child-like in the sense of describing someone who likes being looked after/taken care of.

   This is probably the closest equivalent with the most common usage.

   Edit: I pretty much passed out in bed right after I wrote this 🥲 I will add that this translation only really works if trying to be brief about the concept. And while I’ve used the word affectionate, it can be to the point of clinginess.

3. I think 甘えん坊 is like clingy?

4. Takeo Doi turning in his grave.

5. While I think 甘えん坊 does have some positive nuances (usu. towards kids eg. aaww my niece is so spoiled, she’s sooo cute), I’m willing to say that negative connotations exist. These people want a lot of your energy and attention, without taking your circumstances into consideration. It’s alright for kids to act this way, because well, they’re kids. You can imagine how toiling it must be to deal with this kind of behavior in adults.

6. 甘 can mean sweet, or willingly; 甘え means ‘depending on others’. According to Wikipedia it refers to childlike behaviours that induce caring.

   I think that the closest English equivalent is cuddling your cat and saying things like ‘Ahhh, aren’t you a little spoiled brat’, in a loving way. I think the positive nuance in Japanese is related to the cuteness-culture that is still prevalent.

7. When your cat is rubbing on your leg, and then sits and purrs while you pet it, that’s amaenbou.

   As you can imagine that can be amazingly good to the cat and owner, and amazingly annoying from the outside when you are waiting on the two of them to stop, or if you happen to not be in the mood to pet the cat. But, in the relationships defined by amae, you do not really have the freedom to not be in the mood. Indulging them is an obligatory duty.

   It very much is about the amaeru-ing thing being self absorbed, and the other person indulging them, but being also obligated to do so.

   There is a famous book, The Anatomy of Dependence by Doi. (And the word for dependence in that title is Amae) If you need an entire book to explain a cultural difference, expect no easy translation.

   Know that amae is between a parent and child, between lovers, between pets and people, and note well, between sempai and kohai. So it is not just about kids, and it is not just about being spoiled. When my wife gets a call from someone junior to her with job complaints they are amaeru-ing to my wife, and she is *obligated* to take care of them.

8. If you use it in an affectionate sense, it means someone who, to use recent vogue terminology, is baby, i.e. depends upon their parents or partner like a baby, and might have so-called mommy or daddy issues. Someone who is greedy for affection and being taken care of, in a cute way. 「全く〜甘えん坊だな〜」

   If you use it in a negative sense towards a grown adult, it means someone who is too dependent on other people and can’t take care of themselves. “Needy” or “over-reliant” “over-dependent” might be ways to translate it.
   「甘えん坊もいい加減にしてくれ」

   These senses are kind of similar. It just depends on whether you’re find it cute and give into it, like moms would for their children, or mommy-type girlfriends would for their boyfriends. Or whether it bothers the hell out of you and you just want them to act for themselves for once.

   Just my take as a non-native. Take with a grain of salt.

   English “spoiled” is a bit different in nuance. I’d associate being spoiled with being bratty, whining and complaining when one doesn’t get their way. This might fall under 甘えん坊 in JP as well, not sure. But it’s generally negative in English.

9. “someone who’s full of *amae*”. “amae” is an English word that can be found in many dictionaries.

10. Holy moly y’all turning it into philosophical discussion.

    It is basically used when ur lovey dovey. If I’m hugging my bf a lot he calls me amaenbou.

    Y’all wack 🥺

11. animals/personalities can be described as 甘えん坊 too. Our cat was classified as such at the animal shelter, and hubby calls him 甘えん坊 all the time, because our cat loves to rub against us and sit on our lap and get petted for hours on end.

    Hubby describes himself as such too, because he likes to cuddle on the couch or snuggle before we go to bed.

    So it can also be used like ‘affectionate’ or to describe someone who likes to snuggle, etc