I’ve been learning Japanese for about a year and half-ish I’m really not doubting my progress. I’m pretty happy with where I’m at considering my responsibilities.
I’m not in a rush in any sense, but of course like all of us we wanna get there as fast as possible while enjoying the journey but that’s been my problem lately.
I’m a family father with a wife and 4 children, all of them still young hence I’m not trying to compete with the youngins out there being able to put half their day into immersion and studies so I’m really trying to just enjoy the process and put in the time when it’s possible.
Lately I’ve started to become really discouraged with the fact that I will never be able to move to Japan and try out life on a daily basis there.
I live in Sweden so Swedish is my native language and apart from Japanese, English is my favorite language in the world, probably even more than Japanese but in a different way.
Even though I seriously love English and consume all my Media and books in it, heck I even wished it was spoken as the national language in Sweden.
To me, everything just plainly sounds better in English.
Even though all that love for the language, not even once have I ever had the thought: “Man.. what a bummer I’ll never get to live in the states or GB”.
But suddenly with Japanese I have this sudden urge that everything is totally pointless since I won’t be able to live there. To the point of me questioning if I should just stop.
I’ve had a crush on Japan and everything about it since I was a kid in kindergarten and first saw a Samurai in a history book (I know, it’s pretty cheesy) my point is it’s not just some sudden interest in Japan that is starting to die out.
I can’t even explain to myself what the catch is…? What is it about living in Japan would make it so much more worth while?
Actually the opposite, I’d have to work more hours, I’d get paid less, I’d get less vacation, I’d be an immigrant and probably have a hard time finding friends since I’m 35+
I’d really appreciate your thoughts on my dilemma.
Thanks.
14 comments
I had a similar feeling about Japan: it seems so alluring but the quality of work and life there as an immigrant is very likely to be less than where you are. I’m in the UK, 20ish, with no family of my own. I was struggling a bit before COVID hit and discovered anime and Japan during it. I think I treated it like an escape from my own life. I was seriously considering moving to Japan for a good year or so (all while learning Japanese).
I’ve kinda dialed it down now as I came to the same realization as you; I don’t think I’ll ever realistically move there and never come back (I’ve got my parents here, my job is here, etc.). I was sad initially, but in the end there’s no need to leave and never come back right? My life’s pretty decent at the moment, I don’t feel like I need to live in Japan to make it more amazing. I can go visit for long periods, be a badass and showoff my Japanese skills to my friends who would come with me. Who knows, maybe business opportunities between there and your country might be an option, so you’d be tied to it in more than one sence. Your knowledge of Japan and your foothold in another country are pretty useful. It doesn’t have to be Sweden or Japan, you can have the best of both worlds no?
I used to be this way… (I’m a wife with a husband and 3 kids BTW)… but life just kind of happened (like the husband and 3 kids…) and it just became increasingly obvious that going to Japan, even for a visit, was probably not going to happen soon… if ever.
As time has progressed I’ve also realized that job opportunities in Japan would be low-pay and it would be a struggle. It’s enough of a struggle here in the US, and I even have a corporate level office job…
But the option has been totally out of my hands either way. And I was just forced to cope. But learning Japanese was so engrained in my life (I did a little TOO well AJATTing as a teenager) that I couldn’t avoid it and kept learning it though I was pretty dejected and hopeless feeling.
Now I’ve just come to terms with it. And I don’t really care. I consume most of my media, and do a lot of other daily activities in Japanese, and that’s been plenty fulfilling.
Give the emotion some time to ebb, and you’ll start enjoying Japanese within the same confines you do English.
> “Man.. what a bummer I’ll never get to live in the states or GB”.
Because you’re already in a better place, friend, the English-speaking world is all downhill from there.
But I think part of your issue is that English inundates life in a way that Japanese doesn’t. American media is globally dominant and American foreign policy creates issues that have to be worried about. So even if you you don’t want or need to learn English for daily life, you’re still surrounded by it. Japanese, meanwhile, you have to go out of your way to encounter, so it’s easy to feel like there’s no point in learning something you’ll never even passively use. Japanese truly is something you have to be motivated to learn for your own edification, because let’s face it… even highly-qualified individuals might not get the opportunity to move to Japan because of where the bars are set.
I’m a fair bit older than you haha
there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing you are learning JP for fun
everyone needs a hobby so this is yours
also you don’t need to live in Japan to enjoy Japanese, I don’t plan on living there
I feel like this.
When I was younger I didn’t really understand that you could go on to study things you couldn’t already do. School never seemed to tell me what I could use my grades for and my parents never mentioned university. I don’t know if I would have gone to university if I’d have studied Japanese, but so many courses do a year abroad..
I WISH I knew the experience of living in another country was out there when I was able to take it.
I’m 31 in 4 months, I’ll be too old to get the working holiday visa, plus I have a job, house, pets.. I have no degree either. I’m stuck in a country I hate for the rest of my life..
There’s thousands, if not millions of people who feel like you because it’s the whole missed opportunity/what if situation that applies to so many aspects of life. We just need to come to terms with our life as it is.
Oh I think I kinda get you.
In regards to English vs Swedish: well, same for me, just that I live in Germany and would wish for English – or Japanese – as national language. Sadly, we won’t be having that anytime soon if ever at all.
Anyway, if at some point your Japanese is at a level where you can finally really embrace any type of content, thats a whole new world waiting for you to discover.
If you feel like everything is too much right now? Like come one, you already got your life lessons learned. An in language learning, whatever you did learn is going to stay. I mean of course, if you take a year or even some years of a break, you will relearn quiet some parts. But it will still come way easier as it did before.
I think one newer grows to old learn anything. But there is also no need to force anything. Just go with what feels best to you.
I’m always curious what motivates people to want to live in Japan.
Everyone needs a hobby, and learning a language is not only challenging but stimulating. If you enjoy the culture and language even from a distance its still ok for you to enjoy.
One day your children won’t live at home anymore, Japan is also not going anywhere soon – so keep learning if it is fun, one day you might be able to visit.
For some perspective:
– I am currently an immigrant in Japan almost 35 with no children. I am barely N4 and the only work opportunities available to me are very low end jobs. So even with my skill set I can’t work in my field due to my language ability. Even then if I was fluent I’d be grossly underpaid and overworked.
– As a programmer would you realistically be able to use English at work, or if you found a niche group of programmers who spoke Swedish? But so rare. Majority of Japanese cannot speak English either. The other option is a ALT which is a role most people don’t want unless they are desperate for work or to get in the country.
– We will return to my home country next year so we can consider having children as I could not support a family in Japan.
My recommendation is search out Japanese nationals in your country and try to connect as a friend in order to improve your Japanese and to put practice into play.
It’s fun to hear from someone working on the same 3 languages as me! I’m American but lived in Sweden for a couple years, and am now studying Japanese for fun.
Sometimes I wonder why I’m putting so much effort into Japanese while my Swedish is slowly getting more and more rusty. I spent a chunk of my life in Sweden and want to maintain that connection, and I’ll probably never live in Japan.
But I think it’s fine. I’m studying Japanese because I really like it, and because it’s something that is making my brain feel a lot healthier. Even if not living in Japan makes me feel a bit like an outsider, I want to continue.
Your feelings might be related to the fact that the percentage of Japanese learners who want to move to Japan is *much* higher than the percentage of English learners who want to move to the US/UK. Moving to Japan ends up being something that you just end up hearing people talk about a lot more.
I do live in Japan though, and I was talking to some friends about this yesterday, but working in Japan kind of sucks. I have kind of a unique job that’s actually decent, but all of my friends with office jobs had the universal experience of being overworked and underpaid. One said that her boss was now allowing them to do their mandatory overtime in the morning instead of the evening (oh goody). She said she hoped morning overtime would leave her more energy to do something other than sleep after work. There are some jobs in Japan that aren’t awful, but they’re relatively rare.
My advice would be only move to Japan if it’s an internal transfer to work that the Japan branch of an international company. That way you’ll get paid a decent wage and the company will cover the cost of international school for your kids. Otherwise consider just going on vacation instead.
You don’t *need* to go to Japan to justify learning Japanese. Just do what makes you happy. Not every hobby needs to be productive or contributing to some larger goal
My environment is probably similar to yours, as I have stopped and restarted my English learning since I was a student, depending on my lifestyle changes.( Now I have a husband and a 16 yo daughter)
But it might also be the same as that of English for you.
I like English but I don’t feel sad that I can’t live in the states or GB.
To be honest, I can say that I’ve never wanted to live there somehow, even though I’d like to travel there.
When it comes to Scandinavia, I once tried to learn the Swedish, Finnish and Norwegian languages because I like Scandinavian fabrics and tableware and I wanted to travel there, but after I got married and had a baby, that fizzled out.
Now I can only remember Hej and God morgon because I’d barely started studying them yet (ï½¥_ï½¥;
I restarted learning English after the Covid pandemic btw.
I got to know a really nice young man on Hello Talk, and now he and I are like actual a son and mom and he and my daughter is sometimes playing game online like siblings.
He visited Japan for a month in March and visited my place for a week, then he, my family and I spent a week together.
Of course he was speaking Japanese as much as possible and I was speaking English as well, and it was really wonderful time hanging out some places, playing games, cards, cooking pizza from the scratch, and making Easter Eggs together.
I don’t think lots of Japanese people move to and are living in Sweden, but I think you can enjoy communicating with Japanese people wherever you want.
Compared to Sweden, working and living in Japan seems tough, but if that’s your dream, I think it’s good to try it someday.
However, I feel that there’re some things you can start doing little by little even if you stay there.
I’m so glad that you are interested in Japan and Japanese language, and I hope you can come to Japan someday, whether it’s for a trip or to move here 🙂
It sounds like you should come for vacations to visit Japan, and get that taste of the fun, sightseeing stuff without dealing with the negative aspects of uprooting your family to Japan. Traveling and living abroad are so completely different (I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that!), but if you want to come to Japan this badly, I would think trying it out as a vacation first would be a good idea. Then you can see how you really like it, and perhaps feel more motivated in your Japanese studies too
You don’t have to live in Japan to really use Japanese. How about a yearly vacation?
I have the same thoughts. I’m 48 and at this point in my life I don’t think I will ever find a job a Japan even though I want to live there. Retiring there is also difficult, I tried googling it and Japan does not seem to welcome foreigners going there to retire, but rather to work.
I’m learning the language to enjoy anime and japanese media because I enjoy watching them. Maybe after I retire I will find ways to have longer stays there rather than a 2-week vacation.