Well, here is the situation:
I’m married to a japanese lady and we have a 2 years old boy who loves music. I have few instruments at home and my boy loves when I play to him.
I really want to play to him before bed, make it kinda our tradition.
But my wife gets so mad if I play for him at evening after 9 pm. I am not talking about any loud instrument. I usually play Ukulele and Kalimba, softly.
She start saying we won’t be able to live here, if there are any complains we’d have to move out. Everything sounds so extreme.
I know Japan loves being quiet and silence. But a quiet instrument at evening is really that bad?
I’d love to know what you think about it or if you had experienced something similar.
​
Thank you
22 comments
What is your living situation? If you’re in an apartment then it’s up to your lease and/or the building bylaws. There is likely a “piano clause” that basically disallows instruments altogether.
If you live in your own detached house, you can do whatever you want as long as you’re not loud enough to break city noise ordinances.
Also, you wouldn’t have to move out in any situation – you’d first get a warning and possible visit from the police.
The neighbourhood should feel privileged to hear your music late at night. You are gaijin afterall.
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Make your space and make your way while being considerate of those around you whether they be neighbors or otherwise. Maybe even ask a neighbor if they’ve ever heard you play around that time. I would love it as a child if my parent played music for me. I hope you do not have to stop because of something like that.
I used to hear one of my neighbor’s children playing the recorder through the mansion’s wall quite often. I’m sure their other neighbors did not appreciate the music early in the morning (before 8 am) or late at night (after 8 pm).
Your wife is concerned about your neighbors as well as teaching your son how to behave in Japan.
I would suggest you play instruments with your son earlier in the evening.
Good luck!
What’s your living situation? Are you in an apartment or a detached house?
We live in a detached house and my father in law plays piano all day, but never past 9pm.
Can’t u just ask ur neighbors? I did ask many times just in case coz my son is very very loud
Your wife likely knows better than us about your neighbours. You should also talk to your wife instead of us.
I live in a house and my 13 year old son rocks out on the drums till ten at night and I don’t care cause every neighbor does stuff that nobody likes. If we still lived in a apartment he would of never had this talent
I’ve been listening to the neighbor’s kid practice piano until 6PM or so most weekends.
She’s getting pretty good, truth be told.
Hello Uke buddy.
Well, that’s kind of an unspoken agreement for any Japanese to try not to make any large noise including piano, guitar, or ukulele noise after 9PM when you are even at your home. So what your wife tells you is quite normal.
Yet, there should be some songs your wife can tolerate even after 21:00PM. Why don’t you try Gibli or Disney songs for the start. Don’t strum but fingerpick gently with soothing noise . Most Japanese have only positive memories especially with Gibli songs, and they are widely known as IYASHI music. your wife might change her mind. And gently finger picked noise won’t leach outside especially for Ukulele.
If you have tuners that can calibrate the Hz, try to match 432hz.
This is how I am able to play till 22:30 even after my wife goes to bed. You should also choose to play quieter brands like Kiwaya or Kanile’a and no Koaloha after 9PM.
If you don’t have any scores for Gibli I recommend [this](https://www.amazon.co.jp/%E6%A8%A1%E7%AF%84%E6%BC%94%E5%A5%8FCD%E4%BB%98-%E3%82%A6%E3%82%AF%E3%83%AC%E3%83%AC-%E3%82%B9%E3%82%BF%E3%82%B8%E3%82%AA%E3%82%B8%E3%83%96%E3%83%AA-%E3%82%B3%E3%83%BC%E3%83%89%E3%83%BB%E3%83%8D%E3%83%BC%E3%83%A0%E5%85%A5%E3%82%8A%E6%AD%8C%E8%A9%9E%E9%9B%86%E4%BB%98-%E6%96%B0%E8%A3%85%E7%89%88/dp/4865712763?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&ref_=fplfs&psc=1&smid=AN1VRQENFRJN5) by Katz Seiji. As for Disney songs, check out Kyas’s online store. He will soon publish a Disney score. I’ve been attending his workshop in Kansai area, and have played a few of his newly tabbed Disney songs, which is one of the best and easy yet challenging tabs I’ve ever had for Disney songs available here in Japan.
Good luck!
Hang on why is a 2 year old up past 9pm?!
Four solutions. Have a sound proof room installed (expensive). Rent a rehearsal room (a little expensive) . Play in a park that over looks a wide body of water (free). Or find a bar that encourages live music (the most fun.0.
If it were an apartment, I’d agree with your wife. Since it’s a detached house, assuming the windows are closed and you’re playing softly, meh, it’s probably okay. But why can’t you just play earlier? Being up past 9 is pretty late for a 2 year old. My kids are 3 and 5 and already asleep by then.
Your house, your rules.
No, you will not be forced to move out if anybody complains.
No, instruments are not forbidden in the evening. What totalitarian state is that?
As long as you are not growling and riffing death metal through the amplifier or anything else what could be clearly heard in the neighbourhood I do not see a problem, other than your wife being a little bit too sensitive and frightful.
I don’t think it’s a Japan thing. I don’t think it’s likely that your wife is just wrong, though.
I had this same problem until I moved into a house – it sucks that the walls are paper thin.
You can by string mutes from any instrument store. It’s not the same but it will do after 9. The mute will sit underneath the strings next to the bridge and stop the strings from sustaining when they’re strummed.
Do your wife need to face the neighbor everyday? So it is reasonable she may want to avoid any trouble. (saying you will live there for decades)
Well, my landlady forbids us by the rules not to play any instrument at any time inside the mansion.
I would let him play and check outside to see if you can hear it.. it’s a house not an apartment…
As a Japanese (technically, Japanese-American), I can see why your wife would be concerned. She might be reacting that way because of [this](https://ja.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E3%83%94%E3%82%A2%E3%83%8E%E9%A8%92%E9%9F%B3%E6%AE%BA%E4%BA%BA%E4%BA%8B%E4%BB%B6). To summarize, a family got murdered back in the 70s because a neighbor got fed up with them playing their piano.
You don’t know for sure if your neighbors could hear you play your instrument or not. Yes, your house may be detached, but who knows if there could be someone with hyperacusis among your neighbors? Or they just really hate music in general?
I live in a detached house here in Kansai, and while I don’t hear anyone playing any instrument, I sure can hear when my neighbors (they live two doors away) are watching the news.
Is your wife overreacting? Possible, but in her mind, she could just be trying to keep you guys from being murdered on the basis of “better safe than sorry”. Just my take of your situation.
I had a similar situation to yours, but I play violin which is quite loud. My solution was to get an electric violin which doesn’t generate much acoustic sound so my neighbors don’t hear it when I play. Now I play any time I want and just use headphones. I’m not sure how much sound an electric Ukulele or Kalimba generates, but it might be worth looking into.