hello. thank you to everyone who commented on my last post on here. i appreciate the advice. i now have another predicament on my hands.
i don’t know whether i should stay in japan after graduation. i’ve been going through this big mental crisis for two months now. the thought of staying here is terrifying, and not being able to see my family for a long time is really taking its toll. i’ve been losing a lot of sleep. my appetite is gone. i cry or have a breakdown/panic attack almost everyday. i feel super isolated all of the time as it is super hard to make friends here. i try and reach out to people but i barely ever get a response. sure i love being here, but do i want to work here and be here long term is the question?
i’ve been learning more about japanese work culture and life working in japan as a foreigner and i don’t know if it is for me. japanese culture is great and i’ve loved doing the touristy stuff here, but this is a whole
other predicament. on the other hand, i’m aware moving back to the US will have its challenges such as integrating back into society, reverse culture shock, job market, inflation, etc.
i have an apartment with a roommate and i’d really feel horrible for leaving her if i decide to go home. she tells me that i have to do what’s right for me, but i don’t know what’s right. i’m completely torn between being here and being at home and i don’t know what to do. if i’m going to make this decision i need to make it now. any advice?
12 comments
Go home. From what you’re saying, you love the thought of living here, not the actual experience. Stop fighting it and come to terms with the fact that it just isn’t the right decision for you if you’re losing your mental health over it.
It doesn’t sound like you’re mentally fit enough to live and work in another country. Go home.
Is there something specific about the work culture that you’re struggling with?
Job wise, even if you missed the shukatsu wave, there are Haken and hello work options which is easier to get in albeit pay and job security may be lower.
But you have to consider whether that will be good in the long run if your passion is art.
Go home. but based on all of your whining, I guess you would feel miserable anywhere.
Do like ET and go home
”The thought of staying here is terrifying. I’ve been losing a lot of sleep. My appetite is gone.
I cry or have a breakdown/panic attack every day. I feel super isolated”.
”I love being here.”
…?
It is called homesickness and either you get through it over time and Japan basically becomes home, or you go “home”.
It sounds to me that you will struggle to make Japan home so might be best to rip off the band-aid and go back to the US. You can always come back in the future.
What if you took the pressure off, and just stayed until you graduate? Stop looking for jobs, and just fill your head with memories & experiences in Japan to keep you warm when you are in your home country?
Japan on vacation mode is a lot more fun than Japan is on daily life mode.
And I don’t know what your uni is like, but for my daughter, the last year is just once a week class, thesis and job hunting. If you stop job hunting, you have time for more part time work to finance trips, museum admissions, outside (even touristy) classes in cooking, pottery, kimono and yukata wearing, dance, calligraphy, etc. There are lots of community classes available for continuing education in my town, and I am sure there is in yours.
You might even meet some new friends, but that’s not the main goal. The main goal with this plan is to fill up your soul with memories over the next nine months.
Japan is only a plane ticket away if you ever want to come back.(BTW, I was an exchange student at Nanzan in Nagoya my senior year. Went back to my home country to graduate and apply for JET. I had some wild part-time jobs during that year at home, and had some meaningful friendships with Japanese exchange students — we all knew what it was like to live abroad & could commiserate. The Japanese ex-pat community was so cool in my area.)
You do not love being in Japan or any place if you are mentally breaking down. Make yourself at a better situation by going back home because the expectation of how you want to live in Japan isnt meeting the reality hence why you are in a dilemma that really has a easy solution based on your post.
Commented on your last post. Reading this one is way more grim.
Go home. Japan will still be here if you chose to come back.
Also worth mentioning just in case. Going home is not a failure. You have done something that many people are too scared of to even try. Take honor in that.
Also, your roommate sounds like a good person. Listen to her.
Why question your gut feeling , you don’t need random people on the internet to guide your path. Do what you feel.
There is no wrongly made choice in life, just the choices you make, and the ones you make are correct otherwise you wouldn’t have made them.
Perhaps we make poor choices sometimes but they are still meant for us.
Based on your post you are mentally unfit to live abroad, there’s no problem with that – but it’s like an open wound and it won’t heal until you stop picking at it, you need to go home and heal your wounds.
Find loved ones that can support you, as your anxiety should be treated, staying with only make it worse