Be my friend

18 comments

1. 16 years living here and still no friends.
   Have some japanese friends at workplace, but that’s about it. We’re friends in the workplace and outside we don’t know each other.

   I have a few friends, but all foreign.
   I’m half japanese btw.

2. Sorry to hear that. I made several friends here but the risk with foreigners is that eventually they’ll go back to their own country. One of them became like a sort of sister to me and broke my heart really when she moved away. Japanese friends are difficult to make though.

3. Have you taken an inward look instead? Maybe there is something you can do to improve yourself and that may lead to finding real friends?

4. I arrived in Japan about 30 years ago. I met some people and I can say that cultural differences are the biggest barrier. If you want to make friends, you have to learn a lot about the other person’s culture. Furthermore, Japanese society at this time is all clock-based. everything has its time and is timed to the smallest detail. A different schedule at your job can be a big problem to communicate frequently with someone who has the same interests as you. The solution I found is not to think about the frequency of contacts, but whether the person continues the conversation in the same tone, even after a long time between one interaction and another. Good luck. (You can message me if you want. I reply when I have time to spare)

5. NO!!!!

   You be MY friend!

6. [removed]

7. Mate, this country isn’t built for friendship unless you grow up here and you went to school here then maintained high school friends.
   Some foreigners will tell you, you can make friends and they tell you they have friends; in most cases those are one sided friendship, and those foreigners they don’t realize that (or decide to ignore that) until the day come.
   If you are okay being alone, this is the best country.
   If you are socially active, you will have hard time and you will end up with people older than you, awkward ones in meetups or mental people

8. Don’t know which country you are from but try to go and talk with your neighbors from the same country.
   (Local park, spot a name on a post box and say hello when you see them etc..).

   I noticed someone with a name typical from my home country living near by, one day he was leaving at the same time I was passing by, said hello and now we have a big community (mostly from the same country but few outsiders too). We meet regularly, our wifes are now friends with each others too. Kids play together but we also have a lot of gathering regardless if you have kids or not.

9. Sure, why not?

10. Similar situation, with the higher proportion of Chinese-speaking students in Language school, and the key (for me at least) was to try and break the ice (in Japanese – as English is not the goto language) during the early stages. Once groups and cliques have already formed, it’s the same in any country/language I’ve found, it’s just hard. Some Korean students actually found it disconcerting too, and switched classes because of it. But during that first week, I managed to make friends with Chinese-speaking learners, and they will absolutely keep chatting in Chinese to one another, but you if you are pro-active and friendly, and being funny can help too, they often will reciprocate.

    My first term here though, I tended to gravitate towards a lot of French people, who formed their own French-speaking clique, and would only use English with me, so it’s not necessarily just a Chinese-speaking problem; we all tend to miss that ‘native’ language friendship type thing.

    And from the Japanese side of things, when I made initial contact and hung out with people, I was struck by how much they did want ‘foreign’ friends, but were just too shy to say hi or go further. Even in Tokyo, despite the number of foreign students, many of the university students I spoke with had zero foreign friends, despite their own relatively decent English levels and genuine wish for that connection.

    Ultimately, it’s a personality issue. You can wait for the Japanese, Chinese or European ‘stranger’ (or person yet unknown) to say hi to you – it does happen – but if you’re willing, try and say hi, be friendly and exchange details. It surprisingly does work.

11. I have made a couple of good friends, but they are foreigners. I‘m still in contact with a few friends from highschool and my hostfamilies. From my japanese friends its probably my first hostmom and my ex that i‘m the closest with. When i was in uni in japan i found it extremely hard to get close to japanese people because it always stayed at „lets eat lunch together“ :/

12. I’d try bumble regular (change settings to show you everyone) and just make it clear in your profile you’re just looking for friends and people to hang with that are LIVING IN TOKYO. Make sure before you meet up with someone that you’ve vetted them for those two criteria and then you’ll have tons of people that are in similar situations to talk to!

13. Omg I would love to be your friend! My closest friends live 5 hours away from me, it would be nice to have someone to go to a café or a bookshop together (if you like books)

14. If you don’t mind being friends with a jiji I’ll be happy to be your friend. No risk of me leaving Japan either

15. Hi! I’m from Eastern Europe too and been here from the March 2022. Weekdays I’m studying at language school in Shinjuku. We can go to library or somewhere together if you are in 😉

16. Are you looking for regular in person friends or are online friends good. I live in ibaraki but I have a friend who lives in Tokyo. I’m also happy to come down for a day.

17. Did you have a hard time making friends in Europe?

18. I live near Yamato (military person here) and it can be difficult finding friends who are not American. I agree on the J-Life meetup – would love to make some non-military friends out here.