What are your most annoying examples of daily small reminders you are’t ‘us’ (Japanese). Not the big stuff like rejected from rentals. Small interactions. The Japanese person doing the othering is most likely unaware, but still it grates.
Mine
Fast food order with me speaking Japanese. Completely in Japanese by me and server. Frictionless. Then right at the end server says: ‘Here?’ with exaggerated gesture to help me understand. Doh! Yes, thanks, you’ve ‘othered’ me for no reason.
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Whenever someone is forcing english even though I am speaking japanese to them, happens rarely but I always try to think positively maybe they are trying to practice the little english they know.
There was a micro-aggressions thread the other day about the gaijin seat.
Jesus, why is everyone so obsessed with us vs. them?
I get “othered” all the time while out and about. I live in Osaka, working in the middle of Shinsaibashi. It’s 99% more likely (to a staff at a store) that I don’t speak Japanese.
To the people it matters (my family, my friends, my work), I don’t get “othered”. To someone who I’ll interact with for 4 seconds? Why bother giving it a second thought? Life must be miserable for you.
It’s good to be other.
At dinner you get the last piece of everything. The first one too.
You guys are so sensitive I wonder how you get past brushing your teeth in the morning without crying
I actually enjoy not being them. I get to enjoy all the perks of living here without the hassle that comes with actually being Japanese ie Tatemae, interpersonal relationships etc.
When I first got here, I was obsessed with the othering. The stares. I first came as an exchange student and all over the school, stares stares stares. In Bukatsu I was physically bullied for no reason other than being a different race. As the year went on, the stares never stopped.
But, halfway through my year, instead of wallowing and festering, I became proactive. Any Japanese word I didn’t know, Id feverishly write down. I went through shonen manga, to mirai bunko books, onto seinen manga.
Every day, I would ask some people from school to hang out. In the beginning it was an awkward ちょっと～ AKA `no`. Then I bought one a drink and sat next to him. We had the most awkward conversation ever. Now, 6 months later since that first conversation, we shoot the shit all the time. Two people from bukatsu became some really good friends as well.
Yes, there’s empty seats on the train. Yes, employees will whip out the English menu. You *are* an other, but that doesn’t mean you cant fit in. Just take it in stride.
Not sure if I feel “othered” but one thing that annoys me is when some Japanese people do the vague “英語おしえてー” thing.
I don’t teach English for a living so I’m not *totally* opposed to helping someone out if it’s a quick, focused thing. Problem is that these people almost always ask “how do I say [insert relatively unexciting phrase] in English?” and then when I say said phrase in English, they invariably say something along the lines of 「へーすごいーネイティブだー」as if it’s somehow shocking that I, a native English speaker, could say something… in English…
My inner-dickhead wants to say “go fuck yourself”, but my inner-nice person usually wins and I entertain the “dance” for a minute or so before saying “*listen if you want help with something specific then sure, otherwise there’s no chance that I can (or want to) teach you the entirety of English in the next few minutes*” and then they give up.
People making an exaggerated diversion around you when passing each other on a reasonably wide walkway. I mean, they’ll cross over into the grass to keep a 1.5m gap.
The way I see it, it is either:
1. You’re not as good at Japanese as you think and they switched to English to help you out.
2. They’re just being kind since you’re trying hard in their language, they want to reciprocate.
Example: I’ve been at the ward office and had an entire interaction in Japanese, and towards the end the person explained some things to me in English.
What I didn’t do: get upset they spoke my own language to me and felt snubbed in society, or “othered” (whatever the fuck that is).
What I did do: spoke English back and said thanks for using English with me and felt good at the big smile I got back, knowing that probably took guts to even try.
Othering is a convenient thing for some people to fall back on when there is conflict and the person trying to other you has no argument. I had a part time job for a while where I had to endure a complete bitch. Whenever she’d be unnecessarily cunty, screaming at me and trying to belittle me in front of our other coworkers (all Japanese), rather than just speaking to me, and I’d stand up for myself, I’d be told all about how I just “don’t understand (what, the “nuance” of her cunt personality? Or are you trying to say that all Japanese people are cunts?) her, because I’m not Japanese.” I’d always have to answer back that assholes are assholes the world over, and it has nothing to do with her being Japanese.
Grow some thick skin or you’re gonna have a bad time.
Actually I had a really touching experience at my local Chinese restaurant!
Me: is this 红烧肉?
Waitress: tbh it’s similar but it’s been changed to suit Japanese tastes
Me: oh. I understand
Chef: *grins* want me to cook it like real 红烧肉?
Me: UM, YES
This type of thing isn’t going to stop, so in my experience people react in one of three ways:
* Get used to it
* Go back to their home country
* Become bitter and cope in unhealthy ways such as substance abuse
It’s weird to think about this.
I just don’t care. I walk around like hell yeah I’m foreign as hell. I do my best to speak the language when I can but otherwise, fuck it, I’m not Japanese so I’m not going to act japanese.
That being said I’m not a disrespectful idiot to the culture or anything, I’m just not going to try to do everything the Japanese way. Not would I want to. Most Japanese people my age don’t wanna do everything the Japanese way anyway, they’re jealous because I can occasionally be the dumb foreigner.
Nah, I like my gaijin pass and I want to keep it
Japanese kids are taught that 外国 = English. So they will do that shit to Chinese and Koreans too.
If you’re really bothered by people using the occasional English with you, you can always amuse yourself by telling them how jouzu their English is.
Yeah nah, I have always found the ‘gaijin smash’ to be pretty handy.
The constant need of.some insecure folks who over estimate their own abilities to “other” people who are trying to help them is super annoying.
I don’t really get those.
I mean I probably DO but my ass has been here long enough I don’t even notice. Got better things to worry about.
“Othered”.. get out of here with that ridiculous shit before it catches on.
I’ve been here 8 years and like people said in other comments there are actual perks of looking like a foreigner and I learned not to mind so much through the years.
That being said I get a little annoyed when I’m trying to have a serious conversation (I majored in Japanese studies and I’m fluent) and a lot of the time when I use a more “fancy” word in the middle of a sentence the person I’m talking to will cut me right there to say “omg I can’t believe you know this word your Japanese is so good” and I don’t even get to finish my thought. I know it’s from a good intention but it makes me sad that sometimes people can’t get pass the foreigner face and just listen to what I’m saying.
I remember before I moved to Japan I was really excited about learning and speaking Japanese. I worked at a Japanese grocery store for a while and it just lit up my day when someone who seemed like they could speak Japanese (identified by an accent or something) would get in my line. I would usually try to fit in some limited Japanese I knew at the time. I don’t remember if I made some gesture but if I did, it certainly wasn’t meant to condescend. It was simply an expression of my excitement.
Don’t take it personally; people all over the world get excited about speaking other languages and meeting foreigners.
Been going to the exact same gym for 8 years and the new guy tries to explain the most basic processes to me like check-in and check-out. I finally broke and Sean Connery’d him.