So I’m doing a well known english teacher’s assistant program at a highschool. I just moved here last week. I barely speak any japanese. In our training course we were told, “On time in Japan is 15 minutes early.
Yesterday my school’s head mistress asked to meet me at a certain very small train station. As far as I know, they did not tell me where exactly I had to meet her. She showed me the train I could take and what time it would arrive: 7:50. I said sounds good.
I was nervous about using an unfamiliar train system and being late, so I arrived a little early and took the first train to that station, arriving at 7:29. About 15 minutes early. Perfect Japanese Punctuality! Or so I thought.
However, after waiting and watching carefully for her car, it turned out she entered at a different exit because she was walking, not driving this time. When I found her after checking the ticket gate (a second time) I told her I had arrived early. She scolded me for having “Promised” to take the train arriving at 7:50, and ”Here in Japan they call that “passing.”” I was reading the english part of google translate and didn’t catch what the word was in japanese. Can someone tell me what the Japanese word for “passing” in regards to yakusoku is?
Then she told me to try and keep my promises in the future. I felt so ashamed I was almost crying.
You might think me arriving early caused this different entrance mix-up, but she actually arrived 10 minutes after the 7:50 train, so I would have ended up in the wrong entrance anyway as she wouldn’t have been waiting for me. So she can’t be cross about the entrance confusion and must just be cross that I arrived on an earlier train!
I’m so confused. In what culture is arriving early being flaky?
QUESTION: What is the translation for “passing” so I can read about it and try to understand what I did wrong?
I even found a book in the bookstore about the “japanese mind” with a glossery of phrases but found no mention of “passing” on promises. I’m so upset because I was only trying to make a good impression to my employers and it backfired in my face.
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25 comments
She sounds full of shit.
You arrived at the train station early and it didn’t affect her meeting you whatsoever.
You didn’t make any mistake at all.
I’m Japanese and I have no idea. Tell her that there’s a bunch of randos on Reddit that’s curious about the original Japanese terminology before translation.
Also, both of you should carry phones
It’s not a normal Japanese phrase, sounds like a misunderstanding on her part with English.
In my experience Japanese people are more often than not late, but like to claim otherwise and will delight in portraying foreigners as being the late ones who can’t respect schedules.
You are perfectly fine and she is being an ass. I have no idea what phrase she is referring to either.
Just keep in mind that this person does not seem to be a rational person
My thoughts? I would chalk this up to a misunderstanding and just move on. You are in an unfamiliar environment, trying to communicate in a language you are not yet proficient at. Now you know where, and when, to meet her. So going forward it should be no issue.
I don’t agree with the comments that there is something wrong with “HER”. Just like I doubt there is something wrong with “YOU”. Just a slightly bumpy start to a new endeavor. Pretty run of the mill thing which is not worthy of a deep language or culture analysis.
And – FWIW – I also have no idea what “pass” could be in this context. Either a weird (mis)translation from google or potentially a mis-recollection by you.
What in the world? Maybe she was just embarrassed she was late. Please find out the original Japanese word I think we are all quite curious
If she was actually angry at you for something, she did a terrible job explaining it….and language definitely seems to be an issue here
But either way, terrible first impression…99% chance she’s a shithead
I have absolutely no idea what passing means at all in this context, it sounds like a mistake on her part.
Maybe something along the lines of something + すぎる idk, super spitballing here
She blew up because she expected you, someone new to Japan unfamiliar with the area, to be exactly where she wanted you to be and she’s the one who arrived late? WTF?
Sounds like a bitch.
She was probably embarrassed that she arrived late and did something called 逆ギレ (Gyaku gore). If you’re feeling it, call her out on it.
Not sure what this passing phrase is.
Maybe she was going for “missing” as you missed one another? I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
As a tip, most stations have named and/or numbered exits, most of which are on Google maps, so you can clarify which exit you will meet at or text which exit you are standing at once you arrive.
Sounds like she’s being unreasonable possibly because she was embarrassed about arriving late and instead of doing the grown up thing of just apologizing for that or accepting that it’s normal for a mixup to happen given your inexperience in navigating Japan etc… She tried to make out like it was your fault. I wouldn’t worry too much about it as this is someone you have to work with so kicking up too much of a fuss might just make things more awkward. But I can tell you if someone tried to pull this shit on me outside of work I wouldn’t be meeting them again. Would be interested to know what she was trying to translate from Japanese though.
Edit: Also forgot to say, sorry that shit happened to you, I think I’d also have been pretty upset if that happened in my first year here.
Is it すれ違い surechigai? Maybe she thought she told you to meet her at that entrance at that time and didn’t see you
All I can think of is maybe something along the lines of “約束の時間が過ぎた”
約束 (yakusoku, literally “promise” but also “commitment”)
時間(jikan, time)
過ぎた (sugita, passed)
Literally “the time of the commitment has passed”, or “you’re late”.
Anyway, she sounds nuts
Edit: maybe 過ぎている might fit better here as it would also translate as “passing”, but in Japanese it’s also used to indicate the state of something (the time that is in the state of having passed)
Sounds like you are going to be in for a lot of fun at this school.
This human sounds annoying as shit. Are you working eikaiwa?
She felt embarrassed and lashed out on you. That’s all it is. Please don’t overthink this.
And be careful of people like her in your stay here
not sure what she meant by passing, but one thing i learned quickly when arranging a meetup is to force them to agree on an EXACT spot. it’s amazing how many will just say something like “let’s meet at shinjuku station” and then balk when i ask for an exit or landmark. what, you wanna spend 30+ minutes playing phone tag and live action frogger through hordes of people??? fuck that nonsense.
Your boss is a moron
>When I found her after checking the ticket gate (a second time) I told her I had arrived early.
could she perhaps misunderstood this as you telling her off because she was late and you were early? and that’s why she started being cross with you arriving early?
>I felt so ashamed I was almost crying.
Are you sure the emotion you were feeling wasn’t anger? “I felt so angry I was almost crying.”
Lol love that. She’s basically saying “us Japanese never need to tell people exactly where to meet and they’re expected to be punctual at one of a number of possible meeting locations”. My Japanese friends actually go to the courtesy of telling me which exit let’s just say and calling to check I’m ok.
Sounds more like she’s just trying to demonstrate her authority and power to you by scolding you until you cry. Many Japanese are late when they come to meet me and I’ve never scolded them until they cry
Never heard of that 15 min BS. I did hear of “5 mins before” from many Japanese people though…
She probably thinks she’s teaching you ‘the rules’ for working there/with her. There is a certain type of person who will apply ‘the rules’ extremely strictly to foreigners but not other Japanese because
1. Other Japanese would tell them off and 2. Timid foreigners won’t because they are taught to ‘respect’ other cultures.
Basically, she’s power harassing you because she knows she can get away with it. The best course of action is actually to just ignore her (don’t comment on it/confront her directly, but nod your head and move on without making an effort to comply with any of her demands in the future).
Also, because women are still viewed as ‘inferior’ in the workplace, some overcompensate by being more aggressive. Especially the more senior/higher the position. The bitchy middle-aged female superior is sort of a stereotype here.