So there is a Japanese girl I work with in the same company. We don’t work in the same department but bump into each other quite often… recently we’ve gotten a little close and started talking more than usual.
Now I would always offer a drink or snack and she would happily accept. One time she felt really bad because she said she wants to offer me something but there was nothing (at the time) she could offer.
Fast forward to a few days ago, she’s told my boss that she wants to give me chocolate. I then bump into her and she said next time she sees me she wil personally hand em over to me..
I then google that when Japanese girls give men chocolate it’s a sign of affection.. could this mean she fancies me? I really like this girl. But at times I feel she is giving me mixed signals! Is she giving me the chocolate because she Is interested in me, or is this her way of just paying me back for all the stuff I’ve offered her in the past? Any incite would be greatly appreciated..
https://www.reddit.com/r/japan/comments/wknwgn/need_advice_for_relationship/
3 comments
My suggestion would be to not read into it too deep. Take it slow, see what happens. Obviously be thankful for it, maybe invite her for a meal somewhere outside of work. The chocolate thing being a sign of interest is iffy. maybe it is maybe it isnt. Women don’t have instruction manuals, it could just be the first thing she thought of doing as a thank you. The only thing worse than being bad at taking hints is to mistake a gesture of gratitude as a gesture of interest. Either way, good luck 🤞
>I then google that when Japanese girls give men chocolate it’s a sign of affection..
LOL only if it’s the Valentine’s Day and only if you’re not one of the people who she gave obligation chocolate to.
Focus on her rather than on where she’s from, and you’ll be fine.
So many variables… we need a complicated flowchart to figure out the appropriate response here… 😛
Are you in Japan? Is this a Japanese company? How long have you known her? How long have you been in the company compared to her? Do you hold a higher position than she does?
Regardless of this, I would definitely not assume that because she personally wants to hand you chocolates in response to “you having offered her drinks/snacks/etc. and her not having the chance to return the gesture”, that she has any interest in above and beyond a professional relationship.
This kind of reciprocation is pretty standard in Japan. If someone gives you something, you will typically reciprocate to an equal or lesser extent, unless you’re already close and you are past these kind of “respectful gestures”.