Want to quit my well paying sales job to work in a kitchen. Am I insane?

Had a passion for food and wine my entire life. Took a wine course that meant nothing in the UK for personal interest but that’s my only experience.

My background is in banking. I moved to Japan to be with my wife and for 3 years now I’ve been working in an international sales role. Money is amazing, jobs isn’t hard but I’ve got zero interest in it and it’s so boring I feel like smashing my head against my desk just for some exciting. Anyone in Japanese companies knows how fucking bonkers they are.

If in theory I quit and went to work in a restaurant I know id be insane, but HOW insane?
I’m 34, married and have a 2 year old.

People say it’s never too late to follow your dreams but in my case I’m absolutely too late aren’t I.

(Just a bit of fun this please go easy on me)

28 comments
  1. Man, why not at least first do it as a hobby. For your family maybe. Or even as a part time thing once a week.

    You have a wife and kid, providing for them is very important. Being bored at work is not fun for sure, but you may want to really think about what you want to prioritize.

    Good luck!

    Edit: it’s not too late to change jobs, you’re still pretty young. But going gradually and being sure of your choices should be the most important, given the fact you’re not alone.

  2. Does your wife work? If so, you should do it. You don’t want to wake up at 70 and feel you’ve wasted your life; you probably don’t want to raise a child while holding a job you abhor, either.

  3. Yes, the answer is yes. Cook all you want. Take classes. Etc.

    Actually working back of house is a painful stressful insane job. There’s a reason most people working back of house are strung out on something. And you’re not starting out as a trained anything you’re going to be a prep cook and in a few years a line cook. You’re not going to be on Hells Kitchen you’re going to be to busy slicing Vegetables and peeling taters.

  4. You are absolutely not too late. However it does sound a little insane? Why don’t you start with it though? Maybe cook for family and friends first? Try out recipes and ask their opinion and go from there.

    I have a friend, who occasionally cooks for a place in Tokyo (near Nakameguro) a few times a year. He is friends with the owner and they have a “John’s famous burger night” type event. Another guy I know rents a place with a kitchen and invites friends, family, business related people and has this “hidden restaurant” event invites only thing. Just some ideas! If you get connections, studied your competitors and have something unique and stands out, why not? It’s never too late even a few years from now!

  5. There are a lot of food trucks around my office, I often grab a bento for lunch and I sometimes think that I would love to run something like this, being cooking in my truck, feeding people and doing that for a living. But that’s because I (and maybe you too) only see what’s enjoyable from an external point of view. We don’t see the hassle it is, uncertain work life balance, income, the hard way to make a real career out of it. Maybe I’m too pessimistic but in the end I’m fine with my somewhat boring working routine and cook at home on weekends. I don’t think I have the dedication for that other life.

  6. You’re never too old to pick up a shitty food service job. They’ll take anyone willing to put up with the low pay and abuse. Just go ahead and try one part time, like on weekends. You’ll develop a newfound respect for your boring, high paying, secure job around sane professionals once you get a load of the muck you’re wading around in in the restaurant business – especially as an entry level grunt. Good luck!

  7. I have a friend who is somewhat of a hobby cook.
    He is basically our guy for all our special meetings, barbeque in summer outdoors and cooking in style indoors when it gets cold. ( He gets a compensation too.)

    He is not doing it full-time but just enough to make him happy as it is. You can do the same maybe and get taste of what it’s like. Sure a real work environment will be way more demanding, but if you are not 100% sure, it might be a good way to test the waters.

    There are kitchens to rent for those occasions, at least in Kanto.

    You are not too old, I have seen older (Japanese) people willingly starting in the kitchen at a much higher age.

    Do what makes you happy but also make sure to talk to your wife properly.
    Enjoy life.

  8. If your wife works too, it’s probably fine, but you should probably take some vacation time first and try it.

  9. This is called, life crisis. I’d suggest you seek therapy before you burn it all to the ground. If it was just you then sure, go for it, it’s your life, but you got a little one now and you owe him the best possible life you can give them.

  10. Why ask here? Life is about making mistakes and learning from them. Ball up, take the plunge and ask yourself in retrospect if you were insane

  11. We have no idea of your finances so cannot give you details, but assuming you live the life of a “well paying job” which would usually include a high payment mortgage and have a young kid then yes, of course this doesn’t sound like a good idea, it actually just sounds like clickbait.

  12. Wow damn, try getting a baito in a kitchen on your days off to see what it’s really like. It can be fun and the camaraderie is also enjoyable.

    However kitchens are not rewarding careers, substance abuse runs rampant, your schedule relies on when everyone else is off work.

    You rarely often see older folks working in restaurants either – unless they own them or operate as a family business.

    Try to find some fine dining like in a hotel, there you might get the best experience – smaller restaurants so many corners are cut, I’ve worked in both during my 20s before my current career.

    Lastly – confirm it with your wife first of course, than line me up for your current job as I’d love a high paying doing nothing kinda spot 😅

  13. Yes, insane. Have you run this by your wife lol?

    My partner is involved in 飲食店 and the hours and pay suck, as can been seen with the high staff turnover and the rate shops are borded up and taken over by the next new hopeful tennant. His company is this close to going under constantly. The only people making money in this business are landlords, real estate agents and construction companies.

  14. Have you seen The Bear? Go to season 1, find an episode where all hell is breaking loose and everyone is miserable in the kitchen. They’re snippy with each other, nothing goes right. The ice machine breaks or a stove stops working. Maybe the prep cook was out and you’re 2 hours behind and it’s 15 minutes until open. Your heart is racing and you haven’t eaten in 12 hours. You make one mistake, which creates a chain reaction of fuckery and this sets you back even more. Meanwhile tickets are now popping up like weeds, and the customers are all dicks (and let me tell you, Japanese customers as a whole tend to take the “customer is god” thing seriously). This means the front of house staff is now yelling at you because they’re being berated by customers. That’s not every day in the kitchen, but you’ll have many days like those. And the good days are not much better. To top it off, you’ll be making less than an eikaiwa teacher and working twice the hours on your feet, sweating your nuts off most of the time. If you’re lucky you’ll avoid the alcoholism that comes with the job.

    If that sounds like fun, go for it. Here’s what I would do though:

    First, work part-time somewhere on weekends just to learn how a restaurant works. Work for a larger company like Global Dining or TY Harbor. No amount of classes can teach you what they can about how a restaurant operates and it’s much more difficult than it sounds. I think most restaurants fail because someone who can cook starts a restaurant but doesn’t know how to manage the process from inventory to table. I can’t emphasize enough how badly people take this for granted.

    Six months in, do you still want to do this? Maybe one of these places can hire you full-time with salary. At least then you won’t be poor.

    Or, risk it all and use that cash you’ve been making to start a small cafe or restaurant. Just make sure you have a plan B and enough in savings and retirement invested.

  15. Mmm… on one hand, absolutely follow your passion, we only get one shot at life!
    Other hand.. a kitchen is a notoriously tough, grueling place to work.

    Were you single, I’d say go for it, if it sucks you can recover. Married and with a kid.. that complicated things.

  16. I’m a similar age and thinking about taking the plunge in something new.

    Can I ask how good is the pay we’re talking about? Do you sell to clients in your home country?
    Happy to do DM if you prefer to keep (somewhat) private.

  17. Yes, you are insane. The good news is that rich people are allowed to be insane. Stick out your day job until you have FU money, then go all in on cooking.

  18. You should definitely consider that there are a lot of possible options between the two extremes of your current life and quitting your job entirely and working in a restaurant.

    I’d start with just cooking for your family on the weekends. Start small, get your skills down, see if you like cooking.

    If you do, determine what you like the most and get really good at that. It can be anything, from baking breads or sweets or pizza, to smoking meat, to canning stuff, to making tacos, whatever. Just get to the point where you can say confidently that you are better than most restaurants.

    Next, look into events in your community. Often there will events where you could set up a food stall for just a weekend, selling what you like. There’s a bit of risk that you won’t sell, but if that happens, well, it’s probably no big deal. Just use that as a chance to talk to people, find out what you can do to improve, and move on. Maybe you’ll find that you hate it. Maybe you’ll find that you love it and you can get enough of a following that you can quit your day job.

  19. So I’m similar in age and have had moments where I want to quit my profession to do something I actually enjoy.

    I took the time to do training in it – 500hrs total – and I realised that actually seriously working in that field was going to take away the joy of my hobby. Also, I’d be cutting my salary by 70-80%, lose all my benefits, and it would just be insane.

    I have familial commitments now too. If I was 21? Yeah sure go for it. In my 30s now with 1 kid and another on the way it would be a really difficult path to take. Especially with next to no guarantee if ever make nearly as much money again with such little effort.

    You’re clearly a smart guy, are there other professional roles that could be a lateral move? I have some experience in banking and ran as quickly as I could, it felt so meaningless and rotten to the core. I’m in tech now and while it can often feel meaningless at least my goal isn’t just to make rich people richer. Might be worth speaking with a recruiter about your options.

    Best of luck

  20. Pastry Chef married no child(worked in fine dining)here in the middle of opening my own place in Tokyo, I change careers in the beginning of my 30s, hospitality is not only “having fun or exciting feeling while cooking” long shifts 12-14hrs, bad pay(if you work for someone or just rookie) bye bye weekends, bye bye social life(because we work when everyone else is on holiday or day off) is something you must expect and just think having kid you will need to change all your daily life.
    Not insane but will be hard. Hospitality is not that “glamorous” industry. The good of this is the awesome, crazy people you meet while working.
    All depends which kind of path you want to follow, casual dining or fine dining.

  21. Dude take some cooking classes or try a 1 day a week restaurant baito before you dive head first into it. The culinary industry can be brutal. If you’re the bread-winner of your family I’d recommend against it.

    My best friend is a sous chef at a high end restaurant and he just never has time to do anything. Even on his off days, which are never consecutive, he’s contacting vendors, sourcing ingredients, dealing with emergencies, etc. He probably works at one of the highest paying restaurants in the area and is still massively underpaid considering all the extra shit he has to do outside of working hours.

  22. Not a happy experience, but hey, you need to hear from all sides.

    Had a passion for cooking as well. Did it for years at a “high level” so to speak as a hobby. I bought books that were used in culinary schools and studied techniques on my own. I loved it. It brought me so much joy to make people smile with my food. I started thinking about maybe trying to do something with that professionally since I wasn’t happy and had just started my professional life. I knew I didn’t have the shoulders to be a Michelin star chef, but I wasn’t that ambitious. I figured just working at a Cafe or bistro with a small, seasonal menu would be enough for me. I put myself through culinary school. It went great.

    Making a long story short: actually working in a kitchen didn’t go well. At all. I knew I didn’t have the shoulders for high level gastronomy but it turns out I didn’t have the shoulders for a professional kitchen environment, period. I went through workplace harassment. I started hating cooking – and eating, by extension. I abandoned all my other hobbies. I was so tired I spent my free days sleeping and doing nothing else. I fell into a deep depression that culminated in a suicide attempt a few months before the pandemic.

    I’m still depressed. I’m just now starting to enjoy cooking again and getting some appetite and curiosity back.

    I’m not saying to not do it, because clearly I believe me and my lack of character were the problem in my case, but I am saying to be careful and to know what environment you’re getting into. It’s not for everyone.

  23. If I were you, I’d take a part time job first or at least do a cooking class to get a feel for it. Personally, I think you are throwing most of your comfort that comes with your job down the drain because while cooking professionally may sound romantic to some, it is some the most back breaking, thankless job whilst getting paid dimes for your effort. I was a cook in Paris for some time before moving to Japan, it is a very harsh environment. I doubt it is different in Japan. Take it from me, once you do it professionally, you will lose your passion and it will become a job. I wish I can say “unless you are absolutely sure then go for it” but unfortunately I have seen what the job gives me and I cannot recommend you going for it, especially if you are not that young anymore. Don’t lose your passion by making it your job. A lot of people here seem to encourage you to take that path but I’ve done it and It will give you PTSD and nightmares. It isn’t worth it. I love that you are passionate about food and wine and I love that you take an interest in this world. But please, if you follow this road you WILL sacrifice your relationship, marriage, mental health and also your sanity. It feels that the grass is greener on the other side but I hope I have convinced you to not follow this path.

  24. You need a hobby or two. Something that involves a bit of adrenaline to balance out your daily grind.

    Walking away from your high paying job would mean sacrificing your kids’ futures. That’s your call to make, but it’s one of the things that kept my nose to the grindstone for a whole lot of years.

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