Okay I’m gonna have my first Tinder date here and I just wanna hear some good and bad Tinder stories from girls.
I’m a quite introverted person but have a very corporate/business-like social skills. I don’t do well in a genuine and surprising situation. I’ve also heard a lot of horror stories happened and they do make me think that I will either get killed or SAed on the first date. I do understand that it’s not the common norm to that extent though.
Therefore, do you have any tips or advices on signals that I should know?
Update: not sure if anyone is keen for an update but here we go. So I didn’t get murdered or raped. This guy came in full salaryman suit coz he just finished work. Works everyday, no special hobby. He did confess that his hobby is working and afterwork drinking. So, my corporate social skill finally came in handy. Consider the amount of work I think he mainly wants drinking buddies or flings. Did ask what was my purpose of using Tinder, respect my time to go home. So far, good signs. Do I see any long term thingy? No. Is he a good drinking buddy. Sure.
25 comments
Don’t be naive. Many guys will just want to hook up, regardless of what they claim to be doing, but there are more serious people as well. Just use your own judgment and don’t just go by what they say.
If you want a serious relationship there are probably better apps.
Tinder is a shit show here.
Most of the profiles are people without actual photos, bots, married individuals looking to cheat, etc.
It’s almost entirely a hookup app.
I don’t have a ton of experience BUT I learned that if a guy says “I don’t want to go home” it means they want to be invited to stay at your house.
No no no no no.
Its a bunch of married guys who want to fuck, seedy people who say they’re looking for “models”, guys looking for an English teacher.
But if you enjoy scrolling through pics of dudes with dead fish, wagyu beef, and sashimi, have fun I guess lol
You haven’t specified what you’re actually looking for, but if it’s anything aside from casual sex, then Tinder *in Japan* is NOT the place for it.
If you’re looking for actual dates, then Bumble. More serious, longterm commitment, then Pairs.
90% of Japanese don’t understand how to use Tinder. The remaining 10% do, but only the most attractive/high status 0.5% meet anyone through the app.
i only have 1 anecdotal story – my friend (Male) met his now-wife on JP Tinder! Best of luck and just go with an open mind but keep your wits about you (safety first). Good luck!
I am one of those very very lucky people that matched with someone with genuinely similar interests, met, and have now been happily together for over three years.
The other matches I never met because it was clear that they were just looking for hookups and I was not. Keep your wits about you and you might just match with someone worthwhile!
My wife met me on Tinder. She gives it a thumbs up!
Tinder has very strong streotype of hookup app in Japan.There is no reason to use it over other app unless you want casual hookup yourself.
I had a tinder “date” once. I was more looking for friends, but this guy probably had some hopes. Well, it was a nice day. We met at noon and played some baseball catch (that was what I was looking for lol). After that we went to get some Ramen and talk a little bit more, basically about university and work, nothing deep. That was about it. A friend of mine was a little bit more serious, or I’d rather say playful. She had a date where she went to Nara with this guy. She told me that he was cute and they had a second date where he invited her home after whatever they did that day. She told me that they went to second base, but since she was a Muslim sex before was a no-go and he respected that. They went out again but I think they had different pathes so in the end it didn’t work out.
So to make it short: it was nice. We were probably quite lucky with our choices.
No matter how bad you think it is: it is worse. Way worse.
Is the guy japanese or not? Experience may vary depending on that
it’ll be fine
I haven’t used Tinder because I’m old but I did try internet dating sites back in the day. Some guys were alright, some were very awkward and a couple made me reeeally uncomfortable. So I recommend you have an exit plan in case things get weird. I had a friend call with a fake emergency and I left before things got worse. Be safe!
I went on a few Tinder dates after my divorce. One of them turned into my 5+ years relationship (both foreigners in Japan). Love ain’t gonna knock on the door, you have to get out there and do half the work. Some of the people you’ll meet are not gonna be your people and others might just be. Give it a chance.
I met my husband on tinder back in 2016 and have been married for about 4 years now. I might have hit the lottery on that one as he’s the first and only person i met up with from tinder. I also live near a big city so i’m sure that had something to do with it.
For me a big “red flag” was people asking to be ~language parters~ (they wanted free language lessons) because in my free time i didn’t want to do work/tutor english for free.
I had a great experience on the app but I think over the years tinder has shifted into more of a hookup app, but i haven’t used it for 7 years now so i couldn’t really tell you how it is now sadly.
Tinder in Okinawa is an actual cess pool. Do not recommend it. Bumble is like a little better but it’s still filled with prostitutes lady boys and people with no pictures 👀 I don’t know why you’d even go on a dating app if you won’t show your face
This was awhile ago but I had several dates that lead to hookups, one that lead to a good friend, and one that lead to a three or four month relationship that ultimately fizzled out. I never felt unsafe, it’s not that difficult to suss out the outright creeps. Just always meet in a neutral public space and don’t go to anyone’s apartment unless you are 100% ready to bone down.
I met my now husband on OKCupid FWIW.
In my experience, it’s mainly hookups or really boring/strange guys who probably are just looking for a hookup but want you to initiate it. But with that being said, I’ve known people (like 2 lol) here who found long term relationships on Tinder and I’ve known people who dated over 100 guys and maybe only had 1-2 semi long relationships. Not that it’s any better but I think Bumble would be a better app. But again, it’s not that much better than Tinder.
although you can find someone who wants a relationship on dating apps, i would argue that tinder is the last place you’ll find that, regardless of the country. i’ve never used it here, but i have a friend who’s pretty active and she often complains about guys ghosting her – especially if she mentions getting lunch/dinner together.
if you’re still planning to use tinder i would say stay safe and don’t go to isolated areas, or to anyone’s place.
Sounds like a lot of girls experience the same as guys on Japanese tinder, a bunch of random pics and the person behind them usually is crazy lol
I met my husband on タップル, honestly Tinder is mostly for guys who want to fuck
All hook up, no matter what the guys say. Could be fun to spend time if you don’t have any friends or just want some fun. Just be careful and meet in public first.
If you’re looking for female friends, try bumble. The guys on bumble aren’t really better than tinder but oh well. I guess pairs is the app for more serious encounters?
It worked for me! I met my husband on Tinder in Tokyo 5 years ago. We met in public for our first five dates before becoming exclusive. I was also scared about getting murdered or something but I was lucky. My husband isn’t Japanese but also not from the same country as me.