Hello there! I’ll give some backstory to start. Me and my wife met years ago when I was stationed in Japan and had a lovely life there.
Last year, I separated from the Navy (best decision of my life) and she got excited to settle in to try life in Colorado.
A year later, things are a bit difficult. She hasn’t been able to adjust to life here. It’s way more expensive, learning to drive terrifies her, and she just stays home while I go to work and college.
We now have our first-born son, and he’s perfect, but it’s become even more difficult for her to handle everything. I always have to drive her to appointments and schedule new ones, take care of all life expenses, etc, but she dearly misses her independence.
Now, moving back to Japan was always on the list of ‘in the future’ goals, after I start my remote career, but we are now very seriously looking into moving rather soon. I have options for work with navy base facilities and I have online classes lined up, but I would like to know if this is the right decision to make.
We’ve saved up a boatload of cash, so money isn’t a stressor, but can I even comfortably use USD in Japan? Thanks for taking the time to read this!
PS. I speak enough Japanese to get by and have basic conversations with strangers, if it’s important, but I plan to hire a private tutor to help speed up the learning process. Wife speaks fluent English.
TL;DR Ex-navy vet, wife has no independence in US, and newborn is making it worse. Should we move back to Japan before I start my remote career?
8 comments
This is a copy of your post for archive/search purposes.
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**Honest question from a stressed husband**
Hello there! I’ll give some backstory to start. Me and my wife met years ago when I was stationed in Japan and had a lovely life there.
Last year, I separated (best decision of my life) and she got excited to settle in to try life in Colorado.
A year later, things are a bit difficult. She hasn’t been able to adjust to life here. It’s way more expensive, learning to drive terrifies her, and she just stays home while I go to work and college.
We now have our first-born son, and he’s perfect, but it’s become even more difficult for her to handle everything. I always have to drive her to appointments and schedule new ones, take care of all life expenses, etc, but she dearly misses her independence.
Now, moving back to Japan was always on the list of ‘in the future’ goals, after I start my remote career, but we are now very seriously looking into moving rather soon. I have options for work with navy base facilities and I have online classes lined up, but I would like to know if this is the right decision to make.
We’ve saved up a boatload of cash, so money isn’t a stressor, but can I even comfortably use USD in Japan? Thanks for taking the time to read this!
PS. I speak enough Japanese to get by and have basic conversations with strangers, if it’s important, but I plan to hire a private tutor to help speed up the learning process
TL;DR Ex-navy vet, wife has no independence in US, and newborn is making it worse. Should we move back to Japan before I start my remote career?
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what visa do you plan on using?
> I have options for work with navy base facilities and I have online classes lined up, but I would like to know if this is the right decision to make.
Would this work be something that’s covered by SOFA status or would it be something with a third party and you’d be coming to Japan on a Japanese visa? Its important to clarify this, because time spent on SOFA status doesn’t count as ‘living in Japan’ for permanent residence. I believe also a lot of those SOFA jobs do have a time limit before you’d get rotated back to the US.
Ultimately the only one who can gauge if the decision is right for your family is you and your family. I would say though that it is much easier to move before your child starts attending school. So if you’re thinking about moving back to Japan you’d really want to do it either before they start school or once they’ve moved out.
I would also say though that one year is not much time to really settle into a place. She’s probably at around peak home sickness, and having a baby chucked in there gives her a healthy dose of post partum. Other than you, does she have any sort of support network where you are? Any circle of other immigrants and/or new mothers that she can talk to?
Yes u can use the USD in Japan no problem. Favorable rates now too. Not sure about the remote career part, most remote jobs won’t let u work out of the country
Man you shouldn’t stress at all. You have all the golden tickets to enjoy life in Japan. Money a guaranteed visa with permanent residency only after a year if you choose it and a partner to enjoy life with and already conversational.
You have the dream setup Remote work in usd while in Japan right now even with a kid in Tokyo you will most likely be living better then 90% of the residents.
I’m pulling my hair out trying to make it work so I’m a little jelly I hope you follow through with this decision and have a happy life with your family.
By “separated” you mean from the navy, not from your wife, right? I was confused by your wording there and thought somehow you want to move to Japan with your ex-wife.
If you have the money, and can find work, then go for it. The mental health of your wife will bring great peace to your home.
Additionally, this is a unique time to help raise your family, get even better at Japanese, build a network, and see your wife flourish again.
I’m not you but this seems like an easy decision to me.
Don’t rush it man. Honestly I wish I had more time to study Japanese before coming. I’m finding ever more difficult trying to juggle a finding work and learning in Japanese to the point studying has lost its appeal.
I gotta find motivation somewhere soon to continue studying. My wife and I don’t have a child so there is no pressure of raising a family but I feel we will go back to Canada next year to start one.
Japan is a better place to visit I find, however if you can earn American dollars and work remotely you might enjoy it well – 100% secure the job before going.
If it fails atleast you can fall back on the army – as a Canadian I don’t have these options here. Best of luck