Conflicted on what to do

Hi, I hope everyone is having a better Saturday. This post is more like a rant/advice. I’m in a rough spot right now and would like some guidance.

I need help in figuring my steps of leaving Japan in 2-3 years. I dont have plans of renewing my visa nor applying for a PR for several reasons, one being my family situation. I am tied to a family visa with my adoptive parents who kicked me out after high school, and the whole time I spent with them since coming here(their decision) has scarred me to say the least. I thought moving to another prefecture would solve this anxiety, but I still fear each day that they might come knocking on my door and hurt me verbally. My trauma’s really bad to the point where I spiraled last year when I thought their names needed to be written for my visa application papers. I don’t wanna go through any of these ever again. I could name more reasons as to why I came to this decision but that could be another post on its own.

Anyways, I’m sorry for stalling around for a bit, but I would like to know what steps I can take and when I need to act/start in them if I want to get out in the timeline that I’m eyeing. I would like to work on the backend development in the future, and at the moment I am self studying on my free time.Im considering enrolling for an associate’s for IT online next year, being that it’s the only degree that suits the timeline that I want to get into. I find bootcamps to be expensive in my home country so online has been the most ideal for me.

I guess now my questions are:
1) If I continue what I’m doing atm is it possible to do my plan within 2-3 years? Admittedly, I have a lot of things to work on, like finding a job after getting laid off, as well as building a good emergency fund before I even book that flight to another country.

2) For people in webdev, what additional steps would you recommend me to take to look more desirable to employers in the future? I am having some thoughts with my path to be honest because I want to get in the industry as early as possible for that experience and it seems like frontend would be more feasible with that idea. Or should I just focus on studying?

3) Lastly, I lost a loved one very recently. This person has been my sole motivation on keeping things going for me and losing them feels like I lost that light at the end of the tunnel. When they were still here, I always knew what to do when encountering a pitfall- get back up because I cant be wasting time when there’s another person waiting for me. Now that theyre gone and no one’s waiting, idk what to do with a pitfall anymore. Call me ridiculous but Im scared to even get back to studying now just because of this thought.

Again, I apologize for the confusion my long post caused you. Im in a mental haywire right now but I’ll try to fix the structure of this and clarify any questions you have. Thank you in advance.

4 comments
  1. It would probably help some people if you mentioned your country of citizenship, because the easiest obvious route is going back there. There’s lots of countries that will repatriate you if you’re in a bind and just keep your passport til you pay off the flight home.

  2. I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. Southeast Asia has tech openings where they do welcome expats, so that’s one place to go. The other issue you should be prepared for is when you get to the new place, you should find a way to build a community you can trust. If you are religious, that’s one way to find an established community.

  3. Have you looked into therapy so you can find a way to deal with the occasional thought of those people’s names entering your mind? I think it would help you deal with all of this, honestly.

  4. Japan is a big country, there’s no need to leave just to escape certain people. If you still have anxiety while in a different prefecture what makes you think it will go away just by changing country?

    Make sure you are safe and a good distance away, and then look at ways at healing your anxiety is what I think.

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