Yes, another I know.
Is there a support group? Basically something to talk to people to avoid the worse? I am currently making appointments for lawyers etc but non legal support would be great. This mainly is because I have a child and I don’t want to loose him. I already lost one child we had for a few years and were. getting ready to adopt but wife decided the child was too much work, though I literally did everything but sending them to kindergarten and my wife’s job. It was a long term foster to adopt situation.
I stayed at first because I had false hope that the that child could come back if things changed but now I don’t want to loose my son as I found out how the system works. I hear horror about this in Japan with the wife being the one with all the power in divorce.
My wife is always saying divorce! Using it as a tool if I don’t agree with her. Most recently she wants to rebuild our house that we are still repaying on the renovations for the current building we have and I told her I don’t want to but I would do it if she works on us and starts to care about my wishes too. She then threatened divorce again.
On top of that, her parents now are starting to push this narrative of separation too. They say racist/sexist things lately like I can’t do this or that but everything is either because i don’t do things like my wife does (usually related to kindergarten prep) or because I can’t file paperwork at city hall etc. Though in truth I do most the the paperwork anyways.
My wife’s work stress destroyed her mental state and that destroyed us. I’m not perfect but when I make mistakes I try my best to fix them and improve. She just expects it to be her way. And her parents don’t help.
I’m sorry, it became a rant. I got teamed up on today so it’s been hard.
So back to the original question. Are there any support groups anywhere that can help me navigate this? Help keep me sane even in worry of loosing my son?
Edit: hopefully clean up some of the rant related confusion.
6 comments
I don’t understand most of this, but I would see a lawyer rather than a “support group”, since a lot of this involves legal issues.
Wow that’s the very definition of a toxic relationship… Hope it goes well for you
>This mainly is because I have a child and I don’t want to loose him. Already lost one we had for a few years and getting ready to adopt but wife decided the child was too much work, though I literally did everything but sending them to kindergarten and my wife’s job. I stayed because I had false hope that the kid could come back if things changed and I don’t want to loose my son now.
Huh? What’s going on here? Do you mean your child got taken away by CPS, or…?
Boat has sailed. More a relationship thing but to the extent there’s a Japan element, it is that once these people have been there done that with gaijin experience and got it out of their system, they’ll be ruthless, unless you have something to offer. The parents naturally probably didn’t approve of her choice to begin with. Not much going to happen from custody perspective, see this stuff with friendly countries dealing with Japanese ex wives all the time like French or Australians
Yes, there are groups for divorce counseling like [this](https://rikon-terrace.com/counseling)
But most counselors there do not speak English, though.
Just want to send some love your way; I’ve been through this and the thought of losing one’s child to a situation like this crossed my mind many times. It’s definitely not a fun feeling so I feel you on that level.
On a pragmatic level, what about a Meetup group for divorced dads in Japan?