This is an update for yesterday's post about me not wanting to go to the hospital for an appointment
Thank you so much for your comments and suggestions. I didn't expect to receive so many responses. Long story short, I decided to go to the appointment and had another biopsy today.
Regarding my condition, I don't want to reveal too much. But it's something visible, and the doctor at the clinic I first visited told me that the most important thing is to get diagnosed and go from there. What I have is not exactly a disease in itself, but it could be a symptom of something serious. Physically, I don't feel anything. If it wasn't visible, I wouldn't think there's something wrong with me.
The reason I wanted to stop doing the tests was mainly because it was too much of a mental load for me to handle. I currently don't have any support system in Japan, or anywhere else for that matter. I am working in a toxic environment and wanted to focus on planning my exit strategy, which I can only do in the next few months. Otherwise, I will need to stay here for at least another year or longer. I also have tons of work, and on top of that, I'm struggling with mental health. So even regular tasks become challenging. And the uncertainty of when the tests will end is also a big factor, because I think I associate it with having to stay here.
I am also not a fan of stitched scars or the shutter sounds when they take pictures of my body. But that's just something I need to suck up.
I thought my condition was psychogenic more than anything else. When I was in the US a week ago, the condition seemed to get much better, and I thought I had finally healed. But when I returned to Japan, my condition also returned, and got even worse. So I thought it would be better to focus on getting out of here and then take care of the rest afterward.
Some of you brought up a good point, it's better to do the tests here since it's probably cheaper. And some of you also shared anecdotal stories, which I found oddly reassuring. I also talked with the doctor about the possibility of me leaving Japan in the near future, and she said that they would prepare the required documents for me to tranfer to another hospital abroad. So that calmed me down quite a bit too.
Thank you again, guys!
ETA: I just realized this post doesn't seem to fit r/japanlife and more of a rant. Sorry about that
by Whole-wheat_brain